Episode 372: Why Success Isn’t Enough: Becoming Trigger-Proof and Healing the Fawn Response with Nima Rahmany

February 16
49 mins

Episode Description

In this episode of The Addicted Mind, Duane speaks with Nima Rahmany, a former chiropractor turned emotional health educator. Nima shares his profound journey from "success on paper" to a total relational breakdown that forced him to confront his own deep-seated patterns of anxious attachment and fawning.

They dive deep into the concept of becoming "trigger-proof," the hidden cost of people-pleasing, and why "shame alchemization" is the secret to a truly authentic life. Whether you are struggling with addiction, burnout, or toxic relationship cycles, this episode offers a roadmap for moving from unconscious reactivity to conscious leadership.

 

Key Topics & Chapters

  • [01:32] The Wake-Up Call: Nima Rahmany discusses how a crisis in his personal life and a brush with the legal system forced him to look past his professional success and address his defensive reactivity.
  • [03:54] The Cost of Fawning: A breakdown of the "Fawn" response—how suppressing your truth to appease others creates a "bottomless pit" of resentment and physical inflammation.
  • [10:14] Defining the Fawn Response: Nima provides a powerful analogy of how children learn to appease "predators" (caregivers) to survive, and how that evolves into a destructive adult relationship strategy.
  • [14:41] Somatic Impact: Exploring the link between unresolved emotional wounds, fawning, and chronic physical issues like autoimmune diseases and inflammation.
  • [21:00] Loving the Shadow: Why true self-love isn't about liking your "best" parts, but about "unshaming" the parts of yourself you’ve tried to kill off or hide.
  • [27:12] Success vs. Intimacy: Why high-achieving entrepreneurs often crush it in business but fail in relationships, and how the "push energy" of success can actually block emotional safety.
  • [47:26] The Worthiness Inquiry: Nima shares a foundational question for listeners: "I am only worthy of love when..."
  • [52:00] The Heartbeat Realization: A moving story about hearing his son’s heartbeat and rediscovering the concept of inherent worthiness.

Quotes

"Shame alchemization is the secret to being a human... finding these embarrassing, unacceptable parts of us and really looking to understand them." —  Nima Rahmany

"Fawning is when you freeze a part of you in an interaction... you freeze your truth and then you perform niceness." — Nima Rahmany

"One size fits all is not real. It’s not real for baseball caps, and it’s not real for recovery plans." — Nima Rahmany

"The path to self-love is really about loving your shadow." — Nima Rahmany

Understanding the Survival Responses

To better understand where "Fawning" fits into our biological safety system, it helps to see it alongside the more commonly known stress responses:

  • Fight: Aggression and boundary-setting.
  • Flight: Avoiding or escaping the threat.
  • Freeze: Numbing out or becoming paralyzed.
  • Fawn: Appeasing the threat to ensure safety.

Resources Mentioned

  • The Attachment Style Quiz: Discover if you are anxious, avoidant, or disorganized. [Link provided in bio/show notes]
  • Recovery Demystified: Exploring "Quit Lit" and science-based recovery tools.
  • "Unshaming": The work of David Bedrick.

About Nima Rahmany

Nima Rahmani is the founder of the Trigger-Proof methodology. He helps entrepreneurs and individuals heal attachment wounds to uplevel their capacity for love and leadership.

Connect with Nima:


Previous Interview With Nima Rahmany


Previous Interview With Dr. Nima Rahmani

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind

Disclaimer

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See all episodes

Never lose your place, on any device

Create a free account to sync, back up, and get personal recommendations.