🔥 Fasting for children before bar/bat mitzvah (major vs minor fasts)  

 – The common idea that a child must **fast three fast days before bar/bat mitzvah** is described as a **myth**; there is **no such halachic requirement**.  

 – **Yom Kippur**: Shulchan Aruch rules that a **healthy child** should fast **two Yom Kippurs before bar/bat mitzvah** (e.g., a boy may already have to fast from age 11 if he is healthy).  

 – **Training pattern (for healthy children)** as cited from Rav Schachter:  

  – **2 years before bar/bat mitzvah**: fast the **entire Yom Kippur**.  

  – **Previous 2 years** before that: fast **half-day** on Yom Kippur.  

  – Before that age: **no fasting** at all.  

 – **Minor fasts** (e.g., Tisha B’Av, 10 Teves, 17 Tammuz, Taanis Esther): **no fasting requirement for children** at all.  

 – This applies **equally to boys and girls**, adjusted to their respective bar/bat mitzvah ages and health.  

🎲 Gambling for money “just for fun” (Asmachta, gezel, addiction, communal practice)  

 – The Gemara discusses **mesachek b’kuvia** (gambling) and whether gamblers are **invalid as witnesses**. Two main approaches:  

  – **Gezel derabbanan / Asmachta**: the loser never fully intended to part with the money; gambling becomes a **form of rabbinic theft**. On this view, **even occasional gambling** is problematic.  

  – **Eino osek b’yishuvo shel olam**: the gambler contributes nothing productive to society; invalid as an eid only if he **does this as his main occupation**. Occasional gambling would not invalidate eidus on this view.  

 – Rambam writes that a person should **spend his entire life** involved in **constructive, beneficial pursuits** and chochmah; that ethos pushes strongly **against recreational gambling**, especially when it can become **habitual**.  

 – Gambling is characterized as **highly addictive** and often **destructive** to families and finances.  

  – Expert statistic mentioned: in forms of gambling with **instant payoff / instant “rush”**, about **~29%** of people may develop an addiction.  

  – Addicted gamblers can incur **hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt**, sometimes even as kids/young adults.  

 – Since it is often impossible to know in advance **who will become addicted**, the recommended approach is to **avoid gambling altogether**, even “occasional” or “for fun.”  

 – Communal practice critique:  

  – **Jewish organizations** that run “casino nights” are described as **misreading the communal reality**, given the level of gambling addiction among teens in both right-wing and modern Orthodox schools.  

  – It is suggested to **object** to such events and question their appropriateness and leadership judgment.  

🕯️ Benefiting from Chanukah candlelight via photography / monetizing images  

 – The prohibition **“haneros halalu kodesh hem”** forbids **using the light of the Chanukah candles** for personal benefit (e.g., reading or working by that light).  

 – Taking **photos or videos** of lit Chanukah candles, and **selling or monetizing** those images, is presented as **not a violation** of this prohibition:  

  – The benefit is not from the **physical illumination** to see by, but from the **image/representation** being used to **publicize the mitzvah** (pirsumei nisa), which is in line with the purpose of the candles.  

 – Additional leniencies:  

  – After the **required burning time (approx. 30 minutes)**, leftover oil/wax no longer has the same restrictions; benefiting from that light is permitted.  

  – A **shamash** candle provides heter to use the general light in the room, even if Chanukah lights contribute.  

 – Overall, **using Chanukah candles as a background or prop for pictures, even monetized**, is treated as **permissible**.  

🕯️🕍 Public menorah lightings with a beracha outside of shul (offices, concerts, events)  

 – **Lighting in shul with a beracha** is a long-established, special **minhag**, and even that practice required significant effort by Rishonim/Acharonim to justify.  

 – Many poskim **strongly oppose extending** this minhag to **other public spaces** (offices, concerts, lobbies, etc.) with a beracha:  

  – Minchas Yitzchak: emphasizes how much effort went into justifying **shul lighting**; considers further extension (e.g., “at a gathering”) to be **beyond what Chazal intended**.  

  – Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, Rav Wosner, and the Klausenberger Rebbe: similarly resist adding **new berachot** on lightings in non-shul public places; view it as **unauthorized innovation** and part of a trend of “doing whatever seems right” in mitzvos.  

 – Rav Ovadia Yosef (Yabia Omer) summarizes:  

  – Notes many authorities who are **stringent**.  

  – Cites **Mishnas Yaakov**, who is lenient because large public gatherings may generate **greater pirsumei nisa** than shul.  

  – Concludes that in a **large communal gathering**, one **can rely** on the lenient opinions to make a **beracha**, but it is **preferable** to also **daven Ma’ariv there** so the lighting resembles the **shul context**.  

 – Key conditions for shul lighting that are often ignored at public events:  

  – Requires a **minyan** present.  

  – Lighting should be **within the framework of tefillah** (e.g., between Mincha and Ma’ariv, or before Aleinu on Motzaei Shabbos) — not after davening is over and everyone has left.  

 – **Chabad** practice:  

  – Widely conducts **public menorah lightings with berachot** outside of shuls, relying heavily on **pirsumei nisa** as the core rationale and extending the shul-minhag logic to any major public display.  

  – This approach is **not accepted** by many other poskim.  

🍪 Cutting letters / shapes on food on Shabbos (Oreos, cakes, cookies)  

 – Rama (Orach Chaim 340) forbids **cutting letters on food**, e.g., slicing a decorated cake such that letters are **cut or erased**.  

 – Later poskim discuss ways to **avoid** the problem:  

  – Cutting **between letters**.  

  – **Removing the letters** with a thin layer of frosting.  

  – Cutting the cake **before Shabbos**.  

 – **Biting letters**:  

  – Mishnah Berurah allows **biting into letters** on cakes or cookies.  

  – Chazon Ish views this as a **double derabbanan** (shinui, and no intent to erase) and is stricter, but the **mainstream psak** follows Mishnah Berurah that **eating/biting is permitted**.  

  – Possible reasoning: erasing is defined as removing writing from a **surface that remains**, but when **devouring the entire surface** (e.g., mouth), it does not constitute classic mochek.  

 – Items like **Oreos or tea biscuits**, where the writing or design is **embossed into the dough**:  

  – Mishnah Berurah explicitly allows **breaking such cookies**, not only biting them.  

  – The text/design is **part of the structure** of the food, not “ink” or frosting on top.  

 – Similarly, cutting a **cake shaped** like a figure (e.g., a letter-shaped cake, or a shaped object) is treated as **permissible** according to many.  

🤝 Hugging female relatives (aunts, sisters, etc.) when becoming more observant  

 – Halachic baseline:  

  – Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer) and many poskim hold that **affectionate touching (chibuk venishuk)** of arayot (forbidden relations) is an **issur d’oraita**, following the Ramban and Shulchan Aruch HaRav.  

  – Non-affectionate touch (**negi’ah shelo b’derech ta’ava**) is treated more leniently; the Shach permits certain forms.  

 – **Age thresholds**:  

  – Mishnah Berurah (Biur Halacha) suggests the issur of affectionate negi’ah begins around **age 3** for a girl.  

  – Chazon Ish places practical concern a bit later, when the child is more **physically mature**.  

 – Sources on close relatives:  

  – Gemara Shabbos 13a: Ulla reportedly **kissed his sisters**, despite holding that such behavior is generally prohibited; Tosafos explains that he was a **unique tzaddik** with zero ta’iva.  

  – Rambam (Issurei Biah 21:6): says that **kissing a sister or aunt even without ta’iva** is a **“davar meguneh” and “davar asur”**, presenting more stringent language. Some suggest “davar asur” here may be **strong ethical censure**, not necessarily formal issur, but it is clearly rejected behavior.  

 – Contemporary guidance:  

  – R’ Menashe Klein suggests there might be room for leniency in limited **kavod habriyot** situations where touch is clearly **not derech ta’iva**, but this is not a blanket heter.  

  – He also criticizes **breaking a shidduch** solely because a girl hugs her brothers; calls such an approach **extreme and improper**, while still not fully endorsing the behavior.  

 – Practical relational advice:  

  – Where one is changing practice (e.g., a man stops hugging female relatives): instead of repeated awkward avoidance, it is often **better to have one difficult, honest conversation** explaining that:  

   – You are **trying to keep halacha more strictly**.  

   – You **respect them** and are not judging them.  

   – You ask them to **respect your boundaries** just as you respect theirs.  

  – Relatives may initially be **hurt or upset**, but over time often **adjust**; this is framed as a normal part of **“growing pains”** in relationships.  

🧼 Removing stains from clothing on Shabbos (kibus/melaben, dust vs mud, practical options)  

 – Key melachot:  

  – **Melaben / kibbus** (laundering) includes **scrubbing, removing dirt, or improving the cleanliness/appearance** of garments.  

 – Shulchan Aruch vs Rama on **dust**:  

  – Shulchan Aruch: **removing embedded dust** from a garment is **permitted**.  

  – Rama: forbids **removing embedded dust** because it resembles **laundering**.  

 – Removing **mud/stains**:  

  – Shulchan Aruch: **scrubbing** mud off by **rubbing parts of the garment against each other** is **assur**, even without water, because it improves the **appearance** and is a form of kibbus.  

  – Mishnah Berurah: clarifies that the issue is **enhancing the garment’s appearance**, not only use of water.  

 – Difference between **“thickness” of a stain** and the embedded portion:  

  – If part of the stain **sits on top of the fabric** (e.g., a dried piece of food stuck on):  

   – Removing the **chunk** is like removing a **feather** from a garment and is generally **permitted**.  

  – The **deep, embedded discoloration** is more like **dust/mud absorbed** into fibers and is subject to the melaben concerns.  

 – According to **Shulchan Aruch** (lenient on dust):  

  – You may **lightly peel** away the **top layer** of a stain with a fingernail if the garment will still **look stained** afterward (no beautification achieved).  

  – But **scrubbing the fabric against itself** to remove more of the stain is **forbidden**.  

 – According to **Rama** (stricter):  

  – Needs reconciliation: he forbids removal of embedded dust but yet allows some limited peeling of stains.  

  – Practical upshot from Mishnah Berurah / Biur Halacha and other Acharonim:  

   – Two cases where limited removal is allowed:  

    1. After removing the visible thickness, the stain is **still clearly visible**, so the garment is not really “cleaned.”  

    2. It is a stain that **does not bother you at all**, and you would **wear it during the week** in that condition; removing a bit is then like removing dust that doesn’t truly “improve” the garment by your standards.  

   – Removing a deeply embedded stain **to beautify** the garment is **forbidden**.  

 – Water usage:  

  – Using **water** on a stain on clothing is **almost always forbidden** on Shabbos (direct kibbus).  

 – Best practical solution:  

  – If a garment gets stained on Shabbos:  

   – **Change into another garment** and send the stained one to the cleaners after Shabbos.  

   – Only remove **obvious surface solids** (e.g., a kernel, chunk, feather) that are fully on top and not embedded.  

📜 Standing vs sitting when Aron is open, Torah in motion, Simchas Torah, women’s practices  

 – Gemara Makos 22b: criticizes **Bavliim** who **stand for a Sefer Torah** but **not for talmidei chachamim**.  

 – Gemara Kiddushin 33b: uses a **kal vachomer**: if one stands for a **Sefer Torah**, all the more so for a **Torah scholar**.  

 – Rishonim reconcile:  

  – In pure logic, there is **great reason to stand for the Torah itself**, but the **explicit pasuk** is about standing for **talmidei chachamim**.  

  – Thus, **ignoring the explicit chiyuv** for scholars while standing for the Sefer Torah is treated as **foolish**.  

 – Halacha on **Sefer Torah**:  

  – When a **Sefer Torah is moving** (being carried to/from the aron, being held or danced with): there is a **clear obligation to stand**.  

 – Standing when the **Aron Kodesh is open but Torah not moving**:  

  – Taz (cited by Rav Moshe Feinstein):  

   – There is **no formal chiyuv** to stand just because the aron is open, but it became a **minhag** as a sign of **extra honor**.  

  – Common custom: stand when the Aron is opened for **Avinu Malkeinu, Shir HaKavod, Aneinu, etc.**  

  – Rav Moshe: questions whether this minhag is **binding** as halacha:  

   – Once something is made **mandatory**, it may lose the **voluntary affection** that gave it meaning.  

   – If one **cannot maintain kavana** while standing (e.g., long “Aleinu L’Shabeach” on Yamim Noraim, or lengthy piyutim), it may be **better to sit** rather than stand robotically.  

  – In communities where standing is difficult (e.g., **elderly congregations**), one eitzah is to open the aron **less than three tefachim** (lavud), so technically it is still “closed” halachically, while symbolically appearing open.  

 – Holding a Sefer Torah while others stand (e.g., Mi Shebeirach for soldiers):  

  – The one **holding the Torah** **should remain seated**, since standing for anything else is not considered **greater honor** than the Torah.  

 – Women sitting when Torah is danced, especially on **Simchas Torah**:  

  – If women are in a **separate ezras nashim behind a mechitzah**, many poskim view that as a **separate domain**, so they have **no obligation to stand** for the Torah movement in the men’s section.  

  – Some Hasidic setups use **tables or partitions** as broader barriers; people behind them are sometimes treated like being in a **separate space**.  

  – Additionally, there is practical recognition that a **multi-hour hakafos** with constant standing is not feasible; the priority is **respecting the Torah**, but leniencies exist when **distance or partitions** are in place.  

💬 Talking idle talk (sichat betela) in the Beis Midrash vs not learning there at all  

 – Halachic concern:  

  – A **Beis Midrash** has intrinsic **kedushah**, and idle talk is formally **inappropriate**. The question: should one avoid the Beis Midrash entirely if they know they will likely **end up schmoozing**?  

 – Aruch HaShulchan’s approach:  

  – Notes that people **do engage** in some level of casual conversation in **Batei Midrash**, and this has become a **reality over generations**.  

  – Explains that many shuls/Beis Midrashos are built with an implicit **tenai** that permits certain **non-ideal uses** (eating, meeting, some talking) **bimakom tzorech**.  

  – **Tzorech** here includes the **real social need** for people to **connect with peers of similar values**, especially if most of their day is spent in secular work environments.  

 – Distinction from **talking during davening**:  

  – The leniencies for **Beis Midrash talk** do **not** justify **talking during tefillah** in shul, which is halachically and ethically more serious.  

 – The suggested practical balance:  

  – One should **absolutely learn in a Beis Midrash**; the theoretical worry “I might talk” should not prevent learning, nor overturn long-standing practice.  

  – It is **good to limit** idle chatter and aim to make conversations **more Torah-centered** when possible.  

  – A useful strategy is to **come armed with a Torah question or idea** (e.g., a question from R’ Akiva Eiger, a sugya, something on the parsha) to share with people you meet, keeping interactions **meaningful** while still being friendly.  

  – Nonetheless, **small-talk and concern for others** (asking about family, health, etc.) is acknowledged as having **real value** and not something to be eliminated, only moderated.  

⛄ Snow on Shabbos: building a snowman, snow as muktzah, related melacha issues  

 – **Is snow muktzah?**  

  – Mishnah Berurah and Shulchan Aruch HaRav: **rainwater is not muktzah**; by extension they treat **snow** similarly as **non-muktzah**.  

  – Rav Moshe Feinstein (as reported in R’ Eider and Igros Moshe vol. 8): considered **snow to be muktzah**, possibly as **nolad** (newly formed item on Shabbos).  

   – There is some oral testimony that Rav Moshe may have at times **ruled differently in practice** than what appears in Igros Moshe on certain matters, but for formal psak, the printed responsa remain significant.  

 – Even if we follow the opinion that **snow is not muktzah**, there is another problem:  

  – **Gathering and shaping** snow (loose flakes) into a **snowball or snowman** is viewed as a form of **boneh** (building/forming a solid) or **memare’ach** (smoothing), or **dachak** (compressing), which are prohibited on Shabbos.  

  – Combining scattered material to make a **cohesive, formed structure** fits classic definitions of **boneh** in poskim.  

 – Therefore, **building a snowman on Shabbos is prohibited** even according to opinions that **do not** treat snow as muktzah.  

 – Related practical shaila briefly mentioned: snow shoveling business  

  – A Jewish owner employs **non-Jews** to remove snow whenever it falls, being paid per job, with the owner taking a **percentage**.  

  – Payment for **Shabbos work** must typically be **“havla’ah”** (rolled into a broader, non-Shabbos service) to avoid **s’char Shabbos**.  

  – Rav Willig’s ruling:  

   – Since the **business owner invested in equipment** (plows, shovels, etc.), the remuneration can be viewed as **payment for use of capital plus overall service**, not just for the Shabbos hours; this can constitute **havla’ah**, making receiving that cut **permissible**.

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