In this episode of Teaching Autism & Special Education with Nikki, we’re talking about refusal... the kind where you plan everything perfectly and your student still says “no”… or shuts down completely.

Arms crossed.
Under the table.
Straight to the calm corner before you’ve even started.

If you’ve ever thought, “But they can do this… why are they refusing again?” ....  this episode is for you.

Because refusal isn’t defiance.
It’s communication.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why refusal is almost never personal

• What refusal is really telling you about a student’s nervous system

• How demand anxiety shows up in the classroom

• How to spot patterns behind chronic refusal

• Why pushing harder usually makes things worse

• How to lower demands without giving up completely

• The power of choice, control, and predictability

• How visuals reduce anxiety around tasks

• Ways to use student interests to re-engage

• Why connection comes before redirection

• “Side door” strategies that reduce power struggles

• Why reinforcing attempts matters more than finishing

• How to figure out the function of refusal

• When to gently nudge and when to pause completely

• Why consistency between home and school really matters

Big takeaways:

• Refusal is a protective response, not bad behavior

• A dysregulated brain can’t learn

• Safety and predictability come before compliance

• Small steps count (a lot)

• Relationship always beats control

If you’re supporting students who refuse work, shut down, avoid tasks, or seem overwhelmed by everything, this episode will help you rethink refusal and respond in a way that actually works, without turning your day into a constant power struggle.

🎧 Listen in and let’s talk about how to support refusal with calm, compassion, and strategies that respect the nervous system.