Episode Description
Cindy Esliger looks into the gap between who we have become and what we still won't allow ourselves to believe is possible. Many accomplished women in engineering have already exceeded anything their younger selves could have imagined, but continue to play smaller than their capabilities suggest because of learned patterns that prioritize safety over possibility. Cindy explains how these patterns develop, why they persist long after the original threat has passed, and how they quietly limit career opportunities. Rather than chasing more achievements, she encourages us to give ourselves permission to imagine what comes next and to build careers rooted in curiosity instead of fear.
Much of what holds us back is not a lack of confidence but a nervous system that learned to stay safe through appeasing others. Cindy introduces the concept of the fawn response and how it can appear in everyday work situations, from staying quiet in meetings to over apologizing, overcommitting, or constantly managing other people's comfort. She explains the difference between perfection and wholeness, encouraging us to stop measuring ourselves against impossible standards and instead embrace growth as an ongoing process. Rather than trying to become a polished, finished version of ourselves, she reminds us that we can be whole while still evolving.
Cindy offers practical ways to begin shifting these deeply ingrained patterns: Pause before automatically saying yes to requests, ground ourselves by reconnecting with our senses when our minds start anticipating threats, ask ourselves what we genuinely think and want instead of defaulting to what is expected of us, and follow the threads of curiosity that fascinated us as a child. Treat career growth as an ongoing practice of experimentation rather than something to perfect. Cindy reminds us that by choosing curiosity over control and trusting our own instincts, we become examples of what’s possible for anyone who comes after us.
Resources discussed in this episode:
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Contact Cindy Esliger
Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email
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