EP479 - Contempt and Distance: The Silent Bedroom Killer

February 24

31 mins

Episode Description

Welcome to Episode 479 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Zach Brittle who speaks to me about negative sentiment override and how relationship dynamics shape our erotic connection.

In this episode, Zach and I discuss how the emotional tone of a relationship deeply influences intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. We look at the concept of Negative Sentiment Override, a term from John Gottman’s research, and discuss how couples can find themselves stuck in patterns where even neutral moments feel charged with criticism or defensiveness.

Zach has been teaching, coaching, mentoring and counseling couples for nearly 20 years. He is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) in Washington and a Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT) and Relational Life Therapist. He is the host of Marriage Therapy Radio and the author of the best selling relationship guide The Relationship Alphabet and the Marriage Therapy Journal. His writings and insights have also been featured in Vanity Fair, Men’s Health, Real Simple, The New York Times and the Washington Post. Zach has been happily married to his wife Rebecca for 25 of 28 years. They live in Seattle with their two adulting daughters.

In this episode, you will hear:

· Understanding Negative Sentiment Override

· Positive Versus Negative Emotional Filters

· The Pasta Example And Neutral Events

· Emotional Safety And Sexual Vulnerability

· Gender Socialization And Desire Patterns

· Slowing Down Between Impulse And Response

· Taking Responsibility In Relationship Conflict

· Contempt And The Illusion Of Superiority

· Redefining What Sex Is For

· Scheduling Erotic Play And Expanding Intimacy

Work With Dr. Nazanin Moali