“Do not think of sex as one dish. Think of it as a buffet…You can do so many things with it. Don't limit yourself to one dish.”  Sabitha Pillai-Friedman

Disclaimer: This episode explores sensitive topics related to cancer and sexuality. Listener discretion is advised.

In this episode of Self-Led in Bed, Patty welcomes Dr.Sabitha Pillai-Friedman, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Approved Supervisor,  for a profound conversation about the intersection of cancer survivorship and sexuality. Following her own cancer diagnosis in 2009, Sabitha recognized a massive gap in care for survivors—the complete lack of information regarding post-treatment sexuality—and has since become a leading advocate and volunteer speaker for organizations like Unite for Her.

Patients often feel blindsided by the sexual side effects of cancer treatment because these issues are rarely discussed by healthcare providers. From numbness following breast reconstruction to the hormonal deprivation that causes vaginal dryness and arousal issues, the physical changes can be overwhelming. Beyond the physical, survivors face disenfranchised grief, where society and loved ones may unintentionally silence their pain by reminding them they are "lucky to be alive," effectively exiling the importance of their sexual identity. 

Sabitha is constantly rewarded by the sexual resilience of the people she works with, noting that with the right support, survivors can experience a sexual awakening or "reset" that broadens their interpretation of intimacy. Listeners are encouraged to visit the Unite for Her website to access her free videos and resource lists dedicated to sexuality after cancer.

Dr. Sabitha Pillai-Friedman was born in the Middle East, raised in India and moved to the United States at age 27, bringing a rich multicultural lens to her work. She has over 30 years of experience providing individual, couple and sex therapy and frequently speaks to health care professionals, cancer survivors and patients about cancer and sexuality. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor at the Center for Human Sexuality Studies at Widener University in Chester, PA and is the co-host of the podcast Our Better Half which focuses on the beauty of human sexuality in the later half of life. 

Connect with Sabitha: 

https://self-compassion.org/

https://www.facebook.com/sabitha.pillai.9

https://uniteforher.com/herlibrary/

S. Pillai-Friedman & J.L. Ashline (2014): Women, breast cancer survivorship, sexual losses, and disenfranchised grief – a treatment model for clinicians, Sexual and Relationship Therapy, DOI: 10.1080/14681994.2014.934340.

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