·E172

The Gift of Being Prepared with Sonja S. Koenig

August 16

51 mins

Episode Description

In this episode of Seeing Death Clearly, I’m joined by end-of-life doula Sonja Koenig for a conversation about grief, family, advocacy, and what it really means to prepare for the end of life.

Much of Sonja’s perspective has been shaped by the death of her brother Juan, a Marine who lived with serious health challenges for 16 years, including kidney failure, dialysis, COPD, and heart problems. During his final hospitalization, Sonja and her mother found themselves advocating for his care while also trying to make important decisions and complete documents that should ideally have been addressed long before a crisis.

After Juan died, Sonja was confronted with another difficult reality: how much had been left unfinished. Important paperwork, personal wishes, financial matters, and other details still needed attention at a time when the family was already grieving.

That experience reinforced something Sonja now emphasizes in her work: end-of-life planning isn’t only for people who are elderly, seriously ill, or actively dying. Preparing ahead of time can make an enormous difference for the people we leave behind.

We talk about practical steps such as organizing important documents, discussing healthcare wishes, completing advance directives, and making sure the people you trust know where to find the information they may someday need. Sonja also shares ideas for legacy planning, including writing letters or creating videos that allow loved ones to hold onto stories, memories, and messages long after someone is gone.

Our conversation also explores Sonja’s changing relationship with death and grief, including how the death of a close friend helped her begin seeing death as a natural part of life rather than something to avoid talking about.

We discuss how children experience grief, including Sonja’s experience supporting her young nephew after Juan’s death, and why honest, age-appropriate conversations can help children understand loss rather than leaving them to make sense of it on their own.

Sonja also shares the work behind her “R U Ready? Prepare With Purpose” program, which encourages individuals and families to begin these conversations and organize their affairs before an emergency forces them to.

Ultimately, this episode is a reminder that preparing for death isn’t about expecting the worst. It’s about making our wishes known, reducing uncertainty, preserving what matters to us, and making things a little easier for the people we love when the time comes.

00:00 Facing Death Honestly

00:18 Meet the Host and Guest

01:32 Sonja’s Life and Family

03:13 Gardening as Healing

03:53 From Fear to Calling

10:17 Bugs Boundaries and Nature

17:44 Juan’s Illness Story

19:10 Getting Affairs in Order

22:30 Advocacy at the Hospital

25:29 Aftermath and R U Ready

26:36 Purpose Through Loss

29:28 Missing the Family Chef