“Okay,” I go, “today we’re going to work on one or two moves from this sacred text,” and I show the players my famous Rugby Tactics Book.

There are no gasps from the kids, even though there are a lot of rugby coaches out there who would kill to get their hands on it.

Yeah, no, they all just roll their eyes, probably pissed off at being asked to train in Herbert Pork on New Year’s Day....

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