Episode Description
Hosts Peg McDermott and Heather Hagaman discuss how to care for yourself in sobriety when a partner, spouse, family member, or friend still drinks, including navigating drinking events and living with alcohol in the home.
They reflect on early sobriety experiments, noticing dysfunction, and the importance of having an exit plan, then expand to “boundaries of steel,” compassionate detachment, and avoiding enabling behaviors like ordering drinks or covering for someone.
Peg shares the experience of a partner relapsing and needing outside help to stop rescuing and refocus on personal wellbeing. They emphasize using “I” statements, not labeling others, reducing contact when needed, seeking support, and recognizing that help only works when it’s asked for, all to protect mental, emotional, physical health and long-term sobriety.
00:00 Welcome and Topic
00:55 Early Sobriety Experiments
03:13 Exit Plans and Home Drinking
04:35 Setting Household Boundaries
05:58 When a Partner Relapses
08:14 Protecting Yourself
08:58 Enabling and Detachment
12:27 Rescuing Versus Loving
16:21 Outside Help and Interventions
17:47 Hard Talks and I Statements
20:49 Holistic Sobriety Boundaries
27:21 Protecting Peace Long Term
30:10 Closing and Farewell