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Episode 3310:

Kyle Benson explores how anger often acts as a protective surface emotion, masking deeper feelings like shame, fear, or exhaustion. Drawing on insights from leading psychologists, he explains how understanding the “anger iceberg” can help us respond with curiosity instead of defensiveness. By learning to sit with anger rather than suppress it, we can build healthier boundaries, stronger empathy, and more connected relationships.

Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-anger-iceberg/

Quotes to ponder:

“Emotions are, in essence, impulses to act, the instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled in us.”

“Our raw feelings can be the messengers we need to teach us things about ourselves and can prompt insights into important life directions.”

“The bottom line is that beneath everyone’s anger lies a reason.”

Episode references:

Emotional Agility by Susan David: https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Agility-Unhook-Embrace-Change/dp/1592409490

Atlas of Emotions: https://atlasofemotions.org/

Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman: https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-10th-Anniversary/dp/055338371X

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