122: Why You Can’t “Just Stop”: Porn Addiction, Your Nervous System, and Polyvagal Theory Explained
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Episode Description
If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t “just stop” watching porn—why you cycle through cravings, shame, self-promises, and relapse—this episode will change the way you see your struggle forever. Because the truth is, porn addiction is not a willpower problem. It’s a nervous system problem.
In this episode, I’m joined by my friend and colleague Chris Chandler, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), trauma specialist, and one of the most grounded, brilliant men I know in the world of addiction neuroscience, trauma healing, and nervous system regulation. Together, we break down the deep biological, emotional, and spiritual roots of pornography addiction and why most men stay stuck for years without ever understanding why.
We explore polyvagal theory, the fight-flight-freeze response, and how sympathetic activation, dorsal vagal shutdown, and ventral vagal connection shape everything—from your cravings and emotional triggers to your patterns of withdrawal, anxiety, and relational disconnection.
This isn’t just another conversation about “trying harder.”
This is about learning how your body, brain, and nervous system actually work—and how to regulate yourself in moments of anxiety, craving, emotional pain, conflict, and stress.
We discuss practical strategies for recovery, including:
- Vagus nerve regulation
- Breathwork for anxiety
- Embodiment practices that increase emotional presence
- IFS (Internal Family Systems) for understanding your protective parts
- Healthy boundaries and relational repair
- Mindfulness for addiction
- And why the opposite of addiction is connection, not sobriety
If you’re ready to stop feeling defeated…
If you’re ready to stop fighting your body and start understanding it…
If you’re ready to step into grounded masculinity, emotional depth, and real long-term recovery…
Explore more of Chris's work at: https://www.breathtobones.com/
Learn more about his program at: https://www.joinrelay.app/
Link to Blog Article for this Episode
If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You’ll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart.
Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life