Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling completely drained — replaying what was said, questioning yourself, or wondering why certain people affect you so deeply?

In this episode, we explore the difference between being highly sensitive and being chronically exhausted from emotional unpredictability. If you’ve been healing from narcissistic or emotional abuse and still wonder why your body reacts so strongly in certain relationships, this episode offers clarity, relief, and a nervous-system-based explanation that finally makes sense.

This isn’t about being “too sensitive.” It’s about understanding how your body adapted — and what it actually needs to heal.

Your Next Step in Healing

If this episode explains you — and you’re realizing you’ve been trying to heal through willpower instead of safety and support — you don’t have to do this alone.

I work 1:1 with women healing from narcissistic and emotional abuse who feel deeply, think deeply, and are ready to feel grounded, clear, and safe in their own bodies again.

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📩 Questions or support: 00:00):

If you are here because you have been healing from narcissistic abuse or emotional abuse, I want you to know this episode is still for you. This isn't me changing direction. It's me adding some context because so many people who were deep or are deeply affected by toxic relationships of any kind are also highly sensitive. Lucky us, we get to be a good old target. So no one really explains why that matters. So we're going to talk about a little bit of this, a little bit of that today. Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen, this one's for you.

(00:52)
Okay. So if you've ever wondered why certain people leave you completely drained, why you replay conversations in your head, why you feel things so deep, and maybe you've been told you're too sensitive, or why healing felt kind of linear, this episode might finally explain some of that to you. And more importantly, it might help you stop blaming yourself. I hear a lot of clients with a lot of shame and blame, and we're here to kick that to the curb. Okay. So are you highly sensitive or just attuned? So let's talk about what being highly sensitive actually means. Without the labels or the quizzes, highly sensitive people are not weak. They are deeply perceptive. So your nervous system picks up on the tone shifts in a conversation on emotional undercuts, right? Unspoken things, unspoken tension, and you pick up on inconsistencies. So you don't just hear words, you actually feel energy.

(02:01)
So someone could be saying one thing and you're feeling another. So you could sense, maybe you sense lying or deception. So you can be highly sensitive, but also a people pleaser. So that can be a mix of where you may even feel something's off, but you have been told you're too sensitive or you think too much or you're too analytical. So you kind of second guess yourself when you do actually get these kind of intuitive hits. So like I said, you don't just hear the words, you feel the energy. You're just an energy queen. That's all. It's great. So in safe environments, this is actually a gift. So yay, but not all environments are safe as we know. So in an unsafe or emotionally unpredictable environment, that same sensitivity can become very exhausting. So why do some people affect you so much? Here's the part not everyone explains in the narc world, right?

(03:08)
But your sensitivity didn't cause this harm. So yes, in a way, we can attract a certain somebody by being seen as someone who is empathetic and has a bleeding heart or whatever. But don't let go of it. Okay? We want to keep that. It's still okay to have, but it actually magnifies the impact. So it doesn't cause the harm, it magnifies the impact. If you grew up around control, a controlling person, maybe a parent, maybe a sibling, emotional volatility, people who made you doubt yourself or you weren't good enough feeling, your nervous system learned to stay alert. So when someone is inconsistent, emotionally manipulative, dismissive, we know that one probably a little too well, or hot and cold, right? Maybe they will be all about you and even controlling, monitoring where you're going. They want to know where you are, they're like that. And then they will punish you with the silent treatment.

(04:20)
And I say punish because that's what it is. Even though you don't deserve a punishment, they will punish you if you ... Anything. It's a narcissist, right? So especially in a narcissistic situation, they're going to punish you no matter what in their abuse cycle. So part of that punishment sometimes can look like, yes, the screaming, the yelling, the violence, it can also look like silent treatment. So there's a lot of hot and cold and your body doesn't see that as just a personality. It experiences it as a threat, right? Which makes sense. It's not drama, it's biology. Your body's like, "This isn't okay." The inconsistency, the up and down. This doesn't seem right. So many highly sensitive people don't realize they were in emotionally manipulative or narcissistic dynamics because they were taught to look inward instead of questioning the environment outward, right? So this is where that people pleaser can come in, right?

(05:26)
You learn to ask, "What's wrong with me? " Instead of, "Why doesn't this feel safe?" I want you to sit with that. Okay? You learn to ask, "What's wrong with me? " Instead of, "Why doesn't this feel safe?" So that habit alone can keep you stuck, right? If you're constantly just, you've been conditioned to go, "What did I do? It must be me.

(06:00)
" Going inward. Okay. So why isn't willpower the answer here? This is why the whole just set boundaries or just stop caring doesn't really work. You know I'm the boundary queen. I love good boundaries, but it doesn't always work. With highly sensitive people, it's not about being like the tough exterior boundary and it's not yapping at that person. It's not going outward, right? You do need to set boundaries for yourself, but you need support, safety, and regulation. So healing doesn't have to be about fixing yourself. It's about teaching your nervous system that it is safe to relax again. Teaching your nervous system, yourself, you're out of this situation, hopefully if you're still in it, let's help you out of there. But if you're on the other side, like most of my clients, on the other side, either on the verge of getting out, getting out, or you've been out, but you're still stuck in many ways, it's teaching your nervous system to go, "I'm safe.

(07:18)
I'm safe. I'm safe out of the situation or I'm going to be safe very soon. Hopefully you're in a safe space. If not, always read my show notes for the phone numbers for a resource." We're going to dip into this. I'm going to do a couple more episodes around this topic just because a lot of you have been asking just, I've heard many questions like, "Why did this happen? Why am I like this? Or why did they pick me? " All of these questions, which it's great to question, but there's a difference in asking a question, asking a question, feeling like you're the problem and you're the reason why, right? And like you're at fault.

(08:09)
That's what we want to kind of undo and help you understand so you can let go of that guilt or feeling like this is your fault. And if you had just done X, Y, Z, this wouldn't have happened. Okay? We're not going to blame or shame ourselves anymore. Shine your crowns, little ladies. Okay? So if this episode explains you and you're realizing you've been trying to heal through willpower instead of support, because you do need that support and you want to do the somatic deeper work that is mind blowing, you don't have to do it alone. Here I am, Christie Jade, we can do one-on-one work. And this is for women who feel deeply, think deeply and are ready to feel safe in their own bodies again. So if that resonates, I'll always have the link in the description, in the notes, the show notes, they're called in my podcast show notes.

(09:08)
For every episode, it has my options for working with me one-on-one. I have three different programs and starting this new year out, empowered, ready for your next chapter, your next book queen. Okay? Let's just do the whole, throw the whole thing away. Start over. No. There's beautiful parts of us from the past. I don't want anyone to feel like you are damaged, that you are ruined. I've heard this stuff from my clients and it breaks my heart. I'm telling you, I've been where you are and I have a freaking amazing, thriving, joyful, peaceful ... Can I say peaceful in capital letters? Because who knew I could have peace at some point in my life? Life, right? I did a lot of work to get here and I have learned so many tools. I have so many certifications and all, especially the somatic healing is my baby.

(10:07)
I do the coaching, yes. I do the Reiki or whatever you want. I got it all in my little magic toolbox, but somatic healing is the thing that truly, truly transformed me. And it's just amazing work. I cannot suggest it enough. Obviously, I'm here. I would love to help you. I do have limited spots, but just going through this transformation where you build confidence, self-trust again, and just getting that sparkle back. And I know it sounds like, okay, I get the sparkle back. It's so vague, but I think you guys know. I think you guys know what a narcissistic relationship does to your sparkle, how it dulls you, how sometimes you don't recognize yourself anymore.

(11:02)
It changes you, but that doesn't mean you can't find her again, or maybe you never fully knew her because you had a narcissistic parent who told her since you can remember she's in there. You can have peace and joy. So I would love to help you get that in your life. So if you ... Again, the link is always in the show notes and in the next episode, we're going to talk about why highly sensitive people are more impacted by certain personalities. And what finally changes when you stop trying to manage yourself and start protecting your nervous system because sensitivity is not the problem being unsupported is, right? We need a little support, doesn't everybody? But highly sensitive people, we can need a little more. And that's not a bad thing. It's a beautiful thing. So if this resonated, take a breath, let it land, and I will meet you in the next episode.

(12:07)
I'm not going to do my thrive in fives until, let's see, next Thursday, because I'm going to do this little mini series. So I'm going to do this little mini series, which will be today, Thursday, and next Tuesday. And the following Thursday will be a thrive in five to kind of seal this series up, zip it on up, and then we'll continue with another topic. All right? So have a fabulous day. You are looking amazing and I hope feeling amazing, because you are amazing. Let's end with it. We haven't done I ams, little affirmations. Let's do a few of those to close out. Let's inhale through our nose and exhale, inhale through the nose and exhale and repeat after me. I am perceptive. I am intuitive because I'm a queen. God, I love that last one. All right. I will see you in the next episode.

(13:22)
Love y'all.