Three Billy Goats Buff: a hilarious kids storytelling podcast episode about trolls, vanity, and catastrophic protein shakes

Everyone knows the story of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. Three goats. One bridge. One troll. A lot of trip-trapping. The goats won. The troll lost. Everyone went home.

But that was then.

Because once you have defeated a troll under a bridge in a dramatic and very public way, people remember. Word spreads. And the Three Billy Goats Gruff decide that Gruff, while solid, while heroic, while undeniably a serious word, is simply not enough anymore. What they need is to become something bigger. Something bolder. Something impossible to scroll past.

What they need is to become Buff.

What follows is one of the funniest fun kids stories about vanity, social media, and the particular madness of trying to impress someone who will never be impressed. There are protein shakes made from things that should never be combined. There are muscles appearing in the wrong places. There are internet trolls doing what internet trolls do. And there is a chicken who ends the whole thing in a way that nobody sees coming.

This funny bedtime story for kids is perfect for audio stories for children who love fairy tales twisted sideways, for families who enjoy clever comedy with something quietly true underneath, and for anyone who has ever tried too hard to look impressive and made everything considerably worse. Children will love the escalating absurdity and the deeply satisfying ending. Parents will recognise everything the goats are doing and feel personally called out.

• Episode length: approximately 13 minutes
• Ages: 4 to 400
• Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind down

Press play. The Three Billy Goats Buff are live under the bridge and taking questions. The chicken has just arrived. Nothing will ever be the same.

More stories at MrMortonsBarmyBook.com.