<p><b>Princess Petunia has been fake snoring for three months, and honestly it is going brilliantly.</b> Under her enormous pink duvet, she is reading about pirates and eating smuggled biscuits while the entire kingdom believes she is under a terrible enchanted curse. It is the perfect plan. Until the princes start arriving.</p>

<p>Prince Theodore brings cymbals. Then bagpipes. Then seventeen live chickens, which he releases directly into her bedroom. Prince Frederick tries singing, badly. Prince Barnaby attempts interpretive dance, somehow worse. Prince Nigel tries tickling, which nearly works. Petunia survives all of them with heroic concentration and some very convincing fake snoring.</p>

<p>Then Prince Humphrey arrives. He does not bring instruments or chickens or interpretive dance. He simply looks at Petunia's enormous bed, says "that looks cosy," climbs in, and goes to sleep. His snoring rattles the windows. His starfishing steals every blanket. His sleep-talking involves a pudding rebellion and a rhinoceros called Gerald. His left foot is somehow in her face.</p>

<p>When Petunia finally explodes out of bed in fury, the whole kingdom declares the curse broken and immediately announces an engagement. Things do not improve from there.</p>

<p>What follows is a wonderfully chaotic fairy tale that twists the Sleeping Beauty story completely inside out. There is the disastrous Awakening Machine, which Petunia builds to wake Humphrey and which explodes spectacularly into a blizzard of feathers and pillow stuffing. There is Petunia quietly taking over the kingdom and making it magnificently ridiculous. There are Mandatory Fun Fridays, a dragon book club, skip-marching guards, and the Great Pudding Fight. And eventually there is the Kingdom of Perpetual Naps, where sleeping is a competitive sport and Humphrey comes third in the Sleeping Marathon because he accidentally woke up on day twelve.</p>

<p>This is one of the best fun kids stories in the collection for children who love fairy tales told sideways, princesses who refuse to behave like princesses, and the deeply satisfying idea that someone with cymbals, bagpipes, and seventeen chickens can still fail completely. It is also for parents who want funny bedtime stories for kids that are genuinely witty and reward attention. The comedy is layered, the character voices are brilliant, and the story never once stops to explain its own jokes.</p>

<p>If you are searching for quiet stories for kids that are actually anything but quiet, a kids story podcast with proper theatrical storytelling, or fun children's stories that make the whole car go silent, Petunia's royal chaos is exactly what your household needs.</p>

<p>The laughs escalate magnificently all the way to the Awakening Machine explosion, then the story settles into something warm and joyful, making it a perfect bedtime story podcast choice. Funny without being frantic. Kind hearted, never mean.</p>

<p>Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is wholesome family storytelling with a bonkers twist. Performance driven, kind hearted, and never mean.</p>

<p><b>Episode length:</b> approximately 17 minutes<br>

<b>Ages:</b> 4 to 400<br>

<b>Best enjoyed:</b> bedtime, car journeys, after school wind down</p>

<p>If Petunia made your household laugh, follow the show for more funny bedtime stories for kids that settle cosy and leave everyone smiling.</p>