“I’m here, just taking a stroll, stretching my legs. These, uh, 300 men are my personal bodyguard.” We watched “300,” directed by Zack Snyder, and we need to hit the gym. A lot has been said of Snyder’s hyperfixation on the male form, and we’re here to add to that conversation. While this movie may be 117 minutes of fit men strutting around in leather briefs, it’s also a pretty fun adaptation of the 1998 graphic novel by Frank Miller— author of Sin City.  Gerard Butler and Lena Headey play a fierce power couple, King and Queen of Sparta, Leonidas and Gorgo. Gerry is giving us manic Brian Blessed in “Flash Gordon” realness, and Lena is serving proto-Cersei Lannister, and she’s really holding her own as one of the only female speaking roles in the male-dominated movie. We also get some body beautiful from David Wenham, Michael Fassbender, and Rodrigo Santoro as the diva herself— Xerxes, the mad god-king of Persia with permanent makeup and one too many body piercings. We had our reading glasses on the entire time on patrol for any slip-ups in those banana hammocks, but as far as we could tell, there were no wardrobe malfunctions to speak of. Oh well. 

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