At our hero's request, we've withheld their name and identifying details to protect their privacy.

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses abuse & exploitation and domestic & family violence, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone — help is available:

• Blue Knot Foundation (complex trauma): 1300 657 380 · blueknot.org.au

• 1800RESPECT (family, domestic & sexual violence): 1800 737 732 · 1800respect.org.au

Our hero grew up in a controlling religious cult where emotions were suppressed and difference was dangerous. After high school, while exploring their non-binary identity with supportive friends, their family's reaction escalated from verbal abuse to physical threats. On the day of their first therapy session, our hero left home with minimal belongings, relying on queer support services, a cousin's help, and friends willing to shelter them. Over months of couch-surfing, changing their phone, navigating Centrelink, and legally changing their name, our hero built a new identity and reclaimed their future. Today, they're thriving at university, surrounded by chosen family, able to invite friends over, and planning research that could expand gender-affirming care for non-binary people.

In this Pride In Stories conversation with John Dwyer, our hero shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:

• Verbal and mental abuse can be as damaging as physical violence, yet is often dismissed or minimized.

• Planning with queer-specific support services before leaving makes the immediate aftermath far less chaotic.

• Friends often have more capacity and willingness to help than we assume; the work is in asking clearly.

• Getting financial support through Centrelink requires acting within a 7-day window of homelessness, even if technically couch-surfing.

• Legal name and gender changes in Australia are simpler and cheaper than many people expect.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Suppressed emotions, dangerous difference

04:45 A waistcoat and a cousin's fear

09:51 The day I decided to leave

11:46 A new phone number, a new name

15:34 Safety took months, not days

18:14 The friends who showed up

23:31 I didn't want to die as the wrong person

25:25 The everyday miracles: friends over, plans made

32:43 Gender-affirming care that doesn't exist yet

36:04 Verbal abuse counts as abuse

37:15 Five years on, still building

39:39 What comes next

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

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ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

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Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

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CONNECT WITH US

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#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #PrideInStories #QueerStories #LGBT #MentalHealth #FamilyTrauma #Finding Safety #Gender Identity #Cult Survivor

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Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Kintsugi Studio | Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

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Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

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