Episode Description
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What happens when grief changes everything?
In this heartfelt episode, Jackie Baker joins Jan Johnson to talk about losing her son Sebastian to suicide and the long road of learning how to live again.
Jackie shares the realities of traumatic grief, the stigma surrounding suicide loss, the pressure grieving parents often feel, and how her faith carried her through years of sorrow. Together they discuss lament, identity, marriage, unanswered prayers, and why healing is not about forgetting.
Jackie’s new book, Messy Mourning, offers hope and practical support for grieving mothers and those who love them.
This conversation is compassionate, honest, and deeply healing.
Jackie Baker and Angie Clayton: Walking Beside the Broken-Hearted
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2356821/episodes/15946737
Adoption: Real-Life Stories Navigating Love, Loss and Reunion
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2356821/episodes/15904450
The Complexity of Grief: I Thought God had Abandoned Me
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2356821/episodes/17271183
- Psalm 34:18
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” - Psalm 40:1–2
“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” - Isaiah 43:2
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you… when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned.”
00:00 – Introducing Jackie Baker and Messy Mourning
02:20 – Sebastian’s story and the beginning of grief
03:30 – Why suicide loss feels different
05:20 – The “if only” spiral and guilt
06:00 – What grieving people actually need
08:00 – Faith, suffering, and unanswered questions
09:30 – Walking through grief with God
10:45 – How each family member grieved differently
13:45 – Trusting God after devastating loss
15:20 – Scripture, lament, and surviving day by day
17:50 – What Jackie hopes grieving mothers will know
20:50 – Holidays, anniversaries, and grief triggers
22:00 – The tsunami metaphor for grief
23:20 – When grief becomes identity
25:50 – Resources and companion tools for the book
27:00 – Surviving the “firsts” after loss
28:45 – Creating meaningful anniversary traditions
30:40 – Jackie’s Substack and writing about grief
32:00 – Finding laughter and sweetness again
Welcome to Just Talkin' About Jesus.
I'm Jan Johnson, a seasoned believer who loves relationships and, you know, just talkin' about Jesus.
Here you will find testimonies of those who God has changed through his grace.
Stories of feeling unworthy because of being sex trafficked, or of radical redemption of a woman who grew up with abuse, neglect, abandonment and drugs. A story of an abortion survivor. This and more. Lean in now.
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