Being told to “calm down” has never calmed anyone down — especially if you are experiencing symptoms of bipolar disorder. In this surprisingly funny episode, Gabe Howard (who lives with bipolar disorder) and Dr. Nicole Washington break down why the world’s most common advice backfires… and what truly helps instead.

Whether you’re spiraling at 2 a.m., overwhelmed in your car, or suddenly flooded with anxiety for no clear reason, the ability to de-escalate yourself is a core skill for managing bipolar disorder. But knowing how to calm down — without shame, judgment, or dismissive clichés — isn’t something most of us were ever taught.

Listener takeaways

• how to build your own personalized calm-down toolkit
• how naming emotions instantly reduces their intensity
• how to challenge spiraling thoughts before they take over
• the difference between managing emotions versus invalidating them

So, take a listen as our hosts share practical, stigma-free tools you can start using immediately, from deceptively simple breathing exercises to naming emotions, reframing intrusive thoughts, and building a personalized “calm-down buffet” of strategies that actually work for you.

“And here's another pro tip that shouldn't be as earth-shattering as it is, but: admit it. Just admit that you need to calm down. Admit that you're anxious, agitated, overwhelmed, angry, elevated, whatever. Just admit it. Don't judge it. Practice some radical honesty with yourself and admit that you need to take a beat and that you need a moment. Don't try to deny it. And also don’t assume that it's because you live with bipolar disorder. You're a human with real emotions, but you still need to manage this.” ~Gabe Howard, Host

Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning podcast host, author, and sought-after suicide prevention and mental health speaker, but he wouldn’t be any of those things today if he hadn’t been committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003.
Gabe also hosts Healthline's Inside Mental Health podcast has appeared in numerous publications, including Bipolar magazine, WebMD, Newsweek, and the Stanford Online Medical Journal. He has appeared on all four major TV networks, ABC, NBC, CBS, and FOX.
Among his many awards, he is the recipient of Mental Health America’s Norman Guitry Award, received two Webby Honoree acknowledgements, and received an official resolution from the Governor of Ohio naming him an “Everyday Hero.”

Gabe wrote the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are available directly from the author with free swag included! To learn more about Gabe, or to book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa.
Since completing her residency training, Dr. Nicole has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.

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