How To Deal With Grief and Trauma

·S18 E181

181 8 Common Grief Myths That Keep People Stuck (Part 1 of 3)

March 24
34 mins

Episode Description

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Grief myths are everywhere. They show up in condolence cards, in workplace bereavement policies, in the advice given by well-meaning friends and family and, often, inside the grieving person themselves. They feel like common sense. They are not.

In this episode, the first in a three-part series on the beliefs that distort the experience of grief, Nathalie unpacks eight of the most common grief myths: where they come from, why they persist, how they cause harm, and what a more accurate picture of grief actually looks like.

What's covered in this episode

  • What a grief myth is and how it differs from a preconception (covered in Part 2) and a presumption (covered in Part 3)
  • Why myths persist even when they cause harm, the cultural logic behind each one
  • The 8 most common grief myths, each examined through the same structure: where it comes from, how it harms, a relatable example, and a reframe

The 8 Grief Myths

  • Myth 1: Grief has five stages, and you need to go through all of them
  • Myth 2: Grief is primarily an emotion; it is what you feel
  • Myth 3: Grief gets steadily better over time; it is a linear recovery
  • Myth 4: If you are not showing visible distress, you are coping well
  • Myth 5: Children are resilient, they don't really grieve, or they get over it quickly
  • Myth 6: Moving on means letting go of the person you lost
  • Myth 7: Grief is something you get over
  • Myth 8: Seeking help for grief is a sign that you cannot cope

Referenced in this episode

The myths examined in this episode are part of a broader pattern in which popular culture transmits beliefs about grief, often without anyone intending harm. Nathalie first traced this in her two-part article series using Downton Abbey as a lens for the messages TV and film consistently send about how grief should look:

Downton Abbey Grief Theory — Part 1

Downton Abbey Grief Theory — Part 2

(Note: both articles are hosted on grievingparents.net, Nathalie's Grieving Parents Support Network site.)

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