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Shell-Shocked, Sauced Up & Spiritually Stupid

February 9
49 mins

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Episode Description

Oh honey… this week? This week the universe said, “Let’s test the limits of human decision-making,” and these fools delivered.

We kick things off in France, where a 24‑year‑old man walked into a hospital with a live World War I artillery shell lodged where the sun don’t shine. And when we say “live,” we mean the doctors had to evacuate the building because this man turned his bootyhole into an active war zone. We’re talking Call of Duty: Colon Ops.

Then we glide over to a 21‑year‑old man who stole a car… and then called the police because he wanted his personal items back from inside the car he stole. Baby, if you’re gonna be a criminal, you cannot also be a customer. Pick a lane.

Next up, Florida—because of course. A man is now facing felony battery charges for throwing a ketchup packet at someone. A ketchup packet. We are out here ruining lives over condiments. This is why we can’t have nice things, like emotional regulation.

And finally, China said, “Hold our herbal tea.” A man went to a cybercafé for acupuncture—already a choice—and ended up in the ICU with punctured lungs. Sir… acupuncture is not a DIY project. If your acupuncturist is also rebooting the Wi‑Fi, that’s your sign to leave.

Join us as we break down the chaos, uplift the foolish, and ask the eternal question: Why? Just… why?


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