Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the mid-game solidarity between opposing 5-a-side goalkeepers, top-half teams with wildly anomalous goal differences, managers who performatively refuse to watch their players taking penalties, and the attitude of pubs towards their flag-based bunting during major tournaments.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a quintessentially Scottish football phone-in caller and a listener flags a very niche noise made by a commentator that we will now never be able to ignore.

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices