In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m joined by writer, speaker, and podcast host Brianne Roberge for a deeply honest conversation about self-worth, trauma, and the belief that love has to be earned.

We talk about what happens when you grow up learning to perform for approval, to change yourself to be acceptable, and to control your body in the hope that it will finally make you feel worthy. Brianne shares her personal journey through pageant culture, extreme physical control, cosmetic surgery, serious health consequences, and the moment everything began to shift when she stopped trying to fix herself and started listening instead.

This conversation will resonate deeply if eating disorder recovery or anorexia recovery has felt less about food — and more about learning how to stay with yourself, even when it’s uncomfortable.

This episode includes discussion of childhood trauma and sexual abuse. Please listen gently and take pauses if you need to.

In this episode, we explore:

• How early experiences can teach us to earn love through performance and self-erasure

• Why changing the body can feel like the solution when the wound underneath is emotional

• The link between trauma, people-pleasing, and body control in eating disorder recovery

• What happens when the body starts signalling that something isn’t right

• The difference between self-care and true self-love

• Learning to stay with uncomfortable feelings instead of abandoning yourself

• Why self-worth is not something you can earn by becoming someone else

• How finding your voice can change relationships — and sometimes end them

• What freedom begins to feel like when you stop hustling for love

So many people in eating disorder recovery and anorexia recovery recognise the pattern Brianne describes — trying to be smaller, better, quieter, more disciplined, or more acceptable in order to feel safe and loved.

This episode gently unpacks why those strategies never bring lasting peace, and why healing begins when worth stops being conditional.

Brianne Roberge is a writer, speaker, and podcast host who shares openly about trauma healing, self-worth, embodiment, and learning how to come home to yourself after a lifetime of performing for love.

You can connect with Brianne here:

• Instagram: @itsbrianneroberge

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/itsbrianneroberge

• Website: https://www.brianneroberge.com

• Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5zTzthDnf5Bt5hM08FSDAk

• YouTube: linked via her website

If this episode stirred something in you, that makes sense.
These beliefs often form early, and unlearning them takes time, patience, and compassion.

You don’t have to become someone else to be worthy.
You are allowed to stop performing.
You are allowed to stay with yourself.