This week, Matt falls head over heels for a little place called River Flats, Chris loses his taste for skateboarding despite many many many attempts to become a champ, and you had better not mess with the Gang Mafia Mob!

https://archive.org/download/346-bounce/346%20bounce.mp3

Also, Chris challenges Matt to a User-generated, Gleaming the Cube-inspired round of the Blanking the Blank quiz (thanks again, THEKyleThomas!); Matt guides Chris through fave seg Let’s Roll a Dude, Skateboard Dude Edition, Paul makes a fool of himself in front of the boys, but it all works out in the end; and someone’s trying to sneak in a backdoor pilot!

Let’s Roll a Dude: Skateboard Dude Edition

• Primary Ability
  • 1. Strength
  • 2. Speed
  • 3. Dexterity
  • 4. Charisma
  • 5. Intelligence
  • 6. Constitution
• Skater Style
  • 1. Jumbo charm necklace, alien sunglasses, cowboy hat
  • 2. Farmcore
  • 3. Leather jacket, leather pants, leather gloves, propeller beanie
  • 4. Denim dracula
  • 5. Punk rock in the front, adult contemporary in the back
  • 6. Sponsored by mountain dew dorito powder punch
• Skateboard Team Name
  • 1. The Dapper Mountaineers
  • 2. The Ogres
  • 3. The Big Bad
  • 4. The Young Alligators
  • 5. The Iron Wizards
  • 6. The Skeleton Creatures
• Skate Team Vibe
  • 1. Ska band
  • 2. Mark is a dentist, Michelle owns her own cafe truck, Zuber works for their dad at the old pine mill, Jasper robs banks (overseas), Poppy is a tug boat captain
  • 3. Straight-up Dexy’s Midnight Runners
  • 4. Mad Max putt-putt golf team
  • 5. Wizard cloaks and boomboxes
  • 6. Buncha Trons
• Competition Song (from Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 Soundtrack)
  • 1. Guerilla Radio – Rage Against the Machine
  • 2. You – Bad Religion
  • 3. Bring Tha Noize – Anthrax ft. Chuck D. of Public Enemy
  • 4. Blood Brothers – Papa Roach
  • 5. Cyclone – Dub Pistols
  • 6. When Worlds Collide – Powerman 5000
• Signature Move
  • 1. Grinding all the way around a hot tub 3 times
  • 2. Getting big air in the half pipe, landing on knee pads, sliding all the way up the other side, 180 back on to board in midair
  • 3. Skitchin roller coaster
  • 4. Hella big drop into gorilla enclosure, banana slide back out
  • 5. Blazing guitar solo while flatlandi freestyling
  • 6. 360 smashburger to primo fartslide

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Illustrations by the great Ron Wing.