Today’s guest is Nicole Yade and this episode is about another crisis in Australia - the perpetration of violence, abuse and coercion by men towards women. Nicole is the CEO of the Women’s and Girls Emergency Centre - a literal refuge for those getting away from dangerous and hostile home environments in search of support, safety and sanctuary. The statistics and situation for what girls and women experience in their homes from their partners, fathers, brothers and other loved ones is shocking and sickening. In this country 1 in 4 girls and women over 15 have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner. A woman is killed every five days by a partner in this country. And unless it’s a very concentrated group of men who are committing this across multiple relationships, it’s fair to assume the rate of men perpetrating this violence is high too.

I spent six months working on a large corporates domestic violence and financial abuse strategy back in 2018, and to this day remains the most harrowing professional experience that I’ve had. Nicole does this everyday, as does her team and as do hundreds and thousands of other people - mostly women - to offer the abused and coerced and traumatised support in a society that chronically under funds appropriate responses and simple refuses to undertake common sense and necessary reforms.

Just from this one conversation it was entirely apparent how remarkable Nicole is, not only for the work she does, yet that is a large part of it, but for her own story, her own life transitions and the way she has supported those traumatised by violence over her 30 year career. We cover a lot in this conversation, and I think it’s essential listening. Women probably don’t need to hear much of what Nicole shares here, but men do. I know there a lot of good men out there who listen to this, and my ask with this episode is to get through it despite the awkwardness, the discomfort or because of a ‘it’s not me’ perpetrating violence. To heal men and to drastically reduce the harms our gender is responsible for, we need you, we need more men to hear Nicole, to hear her story and to take up a baton of responsibility to not just know about the problem but to do something about it in our lives. Responsibility starts and ends with us, each of us everyday. What’s been attempted and what governments are offering is inadequate, and I think it’s our duty to step up and do more where we can and how we can to make a difference.

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