ERP 509: When Ambition Costs Connection: How Overachievers Can Find Healthy, Aligned Love — An Interview with Keren Eldad

Dec 30, 2025

48 mins

Episode Description

Are you chasing every gold star, climbing every ladder, and nailing every "right" mark—only to find yourself missing out on real fulfillment and meaningful connection? The relentless pursuit of achievement can sometimes leave us feeling lonely, disconnected from ourselves, and trapped in relationships that don't truly nourish our hearts. When ambition runs amok, the cost may be far greater than just burnout or missed vacation days—it can lead to self-abandonment and relationships that feel more like a cage than a home.

In this episode, you'll discover how overachievement and perfectionism can sabotage our capacity for genuine connection—and what it takes to turn things around. Through honest storytelling and practical insight, the conversation explores the hidden costs of self-abandonment and the steps toward reclaiming self-worth, authenticity, and aligned love. Whether you're feeling the grind of burnout or yearning for more realness in your relationships, you'll gain tools for slowing down, getting honest with yourself, and opening up to relationships that feel like home.

Coach Keren Eldad is an Executive Coach, Speaker, podcast host and the Author of the new book: GILDED - Breaking Free from the Cage of Ambition, Perfectionism and the Relentless Pursuit of More.

Episode Highlights

06:18 The roots of self-abandonment: Overachievement and relationship choices.

09:12 Societal pressure and the pursuit of external validation in partner selection.

10:27 Personal story: From self-betrayal to reconstructing identity and worth.

16:07 Building healthy love: The learning curve toward self-connection in relationships.

20:39 Embracing uncertainty: Letting go of control and playing to win in relationships.

26:56 Yellow flags in relationships: Burnout, overfunctioning, and sexless marriages.

31:29 Radical honesty and initiating difficult conversations.

35:51 Centering yourself before addressing relationship issues.

39:54 Tools, coaching, and the path to authentic relationships.

Your Check List of Actions to Take

Pause and self-reflect: Practice taking a mindful pause before reacting in relationships to better understand your true feelings and needs.
Identify your patterns: Bring awareness to tendencies like overachieving or people-pleasing that may be impacting your connections.
Prioritize self-worth: Work on recognizing and affirming your own worth, rather than relying on external validation or achievement.
Start small conversations: When something feels off in your relationship, gently broach the subject with curiosity rather than jumping into confrontation.
Read for growth: Incorporate reading transformational books by thought leaders to cultivate self-awareness.
Seek support: Consider working with a coach or therapist to dig deeper into your personal growth and relationship patterns.
Practice radical honesty: Begin being radically honest with yourself about what you want and how you feel, as self-abandonment only perpetuates dissatisfaction.
Accept uncertainty: Learn to embrace the unknown in relationships, allowing space for vulnerability and authentic connection rather than controlling outcomes.