I do love a story where almost no one dies, but if you’ve listened to this show long enough, you know I also really do enjoy a bad day at work episodes where the opposite is true. In today’s story, no one dies. That said, some people are going to lose their hair and have their fingers soldered or arc-welded together at work. 

On today’s episode: you will see how the simple act of going blabbity blah turned the most physically unimpressive animal on Earth into its most dangerous one; you’ll learn why I’m calling the scariest thing the sun will ever do to us – “Big Girl Summer”; and we’ll figure out why if today’s story ever repeats itself, we’ll all be discussing axes and hockey pads and squirrel recipes.

And if you were listening on Patreon… you would hear how the early telegraph basically worked like He-Man’s sword and transformed jackasses into a-holes; you would learn just how bad every planet in the solar system wants you dead, and how they’d do it; and you would hear how today’s story plus Frankenstein plus NYC con artists directly led to the creation of all modern science fiction.

Apparently, we’re experiencing a powerful solar storm as I type this, so this episode could not have come at a better time. I’ll calm you by saying no one dies in this episode – but today’s story covers an event at a time in history when people barely understood soap, and if and when it happens again in the modern age, we will all be scavenging the waste lands for non-perishable food and hockey pads. I was going to include a recipe for squirrel, but decided against it. 

I hope you guys like it. I promise the next episode will have all kinds of blood and limbs and horror. No one dies in today's story, but some people do get badly burned, a scientist gets metaphorically burned by history, and by the end of our story, the “hero” of our story will switch from visions of grandeur, to homicide, to retirement. Long story short, more than a few people will get screwed in this episode. Some literally, some figuratively.


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Safety google off. We'll talk soon. And thanks for listening. 

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