Grief Is Part of the Game: Why Losing a Pickleball Partner Hurts and How Healthy Competition Can Help You Keep Growing with Dr. Amanda Sovik Johnston
Episode Description
Nobody warns you about this part of pickleball.
Your favorite doubles partner moves away, levels up, or… stops putting you on the calendar. Suddenly, “it’s just pickleball” doesn’t come close to describing what’s happening.
In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Amanda Sovik-Johnston, founder of The Connected Competitor and the sports psychologist behind the blog post “Pickleball Will Break Your Heart”. We talk about the mental game behind partner breakups, changing groups, and the real grief pickleball players can experience when relationships on the court shift.
Amanda explains why losing a pickleball partner can hit so hard, why being left out can trigger more than disappointment, and how ratings, skill gaps, and changing friendships can turn a game you love into an emotional minefield.
In this episode, we talk about:
Why losing a doubles partner can feel like a real breakup
What to do when your pickleball partner starts fading out without saying why
Why pickleball players can take partner changes so personally
How Amanda handled her own partner moving away, including the goodbye letter and the "auditions on the off days"
How performance anxiety can actually come from worrying about whether you belong
Why anxiety in sports often has a social side
What DUPR rating conversations miss about ratings, access, and friendships
Amanda's three intentions for every game and how naming your intention before you show up changes who you play with and what you get out of it
Why healthy competition can make both you and your friends better
What to do when your regular group dissolves and how to keep growing without leaving meaningful relationships behind
The pickleball community gives us connection, competition, friendship, and sometimes heartbreak. And if you’ve ever lost a partner, watched your group change, or wondered why being left out bothered you so much, this conversation will make a lot of things click.
Cheers,
Casie & Lauren Dinks on Tap
Let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with us:
Instagram: @dinksontap
Facebook: @DinksonTap
Website: dinksontap.comCurious about your rating? Check out My DUPR Coach to get an initial DUPR rating, especially if you're new to the game.
Connect with Amanda:
Instagram: @theconnectedcompetitor
Read the blog post that inspired this entire conversation: Pickleball Will Break Your Heart
If your biggest opponent lives between your ears, start with The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey, the performance classic Amanda references with her coaching clients.Want more of Amanda's take on the game we all love too much? Her pickleball book is in progress, and www.theconnectedcompetitor.com is where the news will land first.