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A podcast of transformative works, conversations, and communities by Hopes, Bees and Tei. Find us @conjoined.bsky.social

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The Market Endives? 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dead.","41-if-he-were-a-real-person-he-would-be-dead","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/4761263-41-if-he-were-a-real-person-he-would-be-dead.mp3",27285816,2272,"2020-08-01T14:00:00Z",{"_47":339,"_32":340,"_34":341,"_30":342,"_62":63,"_64":343,"_66":344,"_68":345,"_70":71,"_72":75,"_74":223,"_13":14},"2bd68cb3-d3d3-44b7-abfc-8cad0ce835a4","40: If there's a God, he loves murdering us.","40-if-theres-a-god-he-loves-murdering-us","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/4707275-40-if-there-s-a-god-he-loves-murdering-us.mp3",37956998,3161,"2020-07-25T13:00:00Z",{"_47":347,"_32":348,"_34":349,"_30":350,"_62":63,"_64":351,"_66":352,"_68":353,"_70":71,"_72":75,"_74":232,"_13":14},"5dd19280-0749-4cbf-94ed-a587763c8e2d","39: It's not Hannibal's house!","39-its-not-hannibals-house","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/4556975-39-it-s-not-hannibal-s-house.mp3",56342915,4693,"2020-07-18T14:00:00Z",{"_47":355,"_32":356,"_34":357,"_30":358,"_62":63,"_64":359,"_66":360,"_68":361,"_70":71,"_72":75,"_74":241,"_13":14},"0d8444cd-cd46-47fd-91a8-25be658a489a","38: They're a robot who's going to kill me in a good way","38-theyre-a-robot-whos-going-to-kill-me-in-a-good-way","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/4523066-38-they-re-a-robot-who-s-going-to-kill-me-in-a-good-way.mp3",51588527,4297,"2020-07-11T13:00:00Z",{"_47":363,"_32":364,"_34":365,"_30":366,"_62":63,"_64":367,"_66":368,"_68":369,"_70":71,"_72":75,"_74":102,"_13":14},"5499cb69-e2e3-44c7-a968-935ae8f80e63","37: Will Graham does WHAT to furries?","37-will-graham-does-what-to-furries","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/4435457-37-will-graham-does-what-to-furries.mp3",42028338,3500,"2020-07-04T14:00:00Z",{"_47":371,"_32":372,"_34":373,"_30":374,"_62":63,"_64":375,"_66":376,"_68":377,"_70":71,"_72":75,"_74":111,"_13":14},"0cb6875a-332c-47d8-88a6-f1fc56e132ac","36: I'm always inclined to think I'm the best","36-im-always-inclined-to-think-im-the-best","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/4337675-36-i-m-always-inclined-to-think-i-m-the-best.mp3",50073530,4171,"2020-06-27T14:00:00Z",{"_47":379,"_32":380,"_34":381,"_30":382,"_62":63,"_64":383,"_66":384,"_68":385,"_70":71,"_72":75,"_74":73,"_13":14},"72369de7-4d69-4fb0-9298-91ddea37c8dc","35: If I saw you every day forever, Will","35-if-i-saw-you-every-day-forever-will","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/4247519-35-if-i-saw-you-every-day-forever-will.mp3",41753715,3477,"2020-06-20T14:00:00Z",{"_47":387,"_32":388,"_34":389,"_30":390,"_62":63,"_64":391,"_66":392,"_68":393,"_70":71,"_72":75,"_74":101,"_13":14},"864060a9-2f2f-45f5-adfe-a4851c09d415","34: This is just sad cannibalism.","34-this-is-just-sad-cannibalism","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/4154948-34-this-is-just-sad-cannibalism.mp3",37087120,3089,"2020-06-13T13:00:00Z",{"_47":395,"_32":396,"_34":397,"_30":398,"_62":63,"_64":399,"_66":400,"_68":401,"_70":71,"_72":75,"_74":136,"_13":14},"212bf348-1254-4d39-a621-f9a54001b593","33: Chilton 'I told you so's and Will sails to Italy","33-chilton-i-told-you-sos-and-will-sails-to-italy","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/4051709-33-chilton-i-told-you-so-s-and-will-sails-to-italy.mp3",47972386,3996,"2020-06-06T14:00:00Z",{"_47":403,"_32":404,"_34":405,"_30":406,"_62":63,"_64":407,"_66":408,"_68":409,"_70":71,"_72":75,"_74":75,"_13":14},"42f8ed81-1db9-430b-9efd-96b5eee7b565","32: Chiyoh, social isolation pro","32-chiyoh-social-isolation-pro","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/3973985-32-chiyoh-social-isolation-pro.mp3",50143120,4177,"2020-05-30T13:00:00Z",{"_47":411,"_32":412,"_34":413,"_30":414,"_62":63,"_64":415,"_66":416,"_68":417,"_70":71,"_72":75,"_74":84,"_13":14},"340439da-74bd-41b8-a6f9-8508a7e6c482","31: Will is extra unconscious.","31-will-is-extra-unconscious","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/3880802-31-will-is-extra-unconscious.mp3",55067721,4587,"2020-05-23T14:00:00Z",{"_47":419,"_32":420,"_34":421,"_30":422,"_62":63,"_64":423,"_66":424,"_68":425,"_70":71,"_72":75,"_74":93,"_13":14},"ab4109d8-0517-4d40-8204-2724969ee2f2","30: That kind of party","30-that-kind-of-party","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/3781469-30-that-kind-of-party.mp3",43773422,3646,"2020-05-16T13:00:00Z",{"_47":427,"_32":428,"_34":429,"_30":430,"_62":63,"_64":431,"_66":432,"_68":433,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":205,"_13":14},"dbb6da2e-6610-485c-bb75-09c720685c26","29: The best worst love story ever told","29-the-best-worst-love-story-ever-told","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/3687118-29-the-best-worst-love-story-ever-told.mp3",60858727,5070,"2020-05-09T14:00:00Z",{"_47":435,"_32":436,"_34":437,"_30":438,"_62":63,"_64":439,"_66":440,"_68":441,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":214,"_13":14},"edbca6ee-98b4-4b6e-bc22-bc553bbdfc76","28: I intend to eat them.","28-i-intend-to-eat-them","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/3588742-28-i-intend-to-eat-them.mp3",34633282,2884,"2020-05-02T13:00:00Z",{"_47":443,"_32":444,"_34":445,"_30":446,"_62":63,"_64":447,"_66":448,"_68":449,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":223,"_13":14},"6274edad-35c1-4975-a079-c8bc00323bb2","27: Everyone is crying, and it's highly relatable!","27-everyone-is-crying-and-its-highly-relatable","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/3487060-27-everyone-is-crying-and-it-s-highly-relatable.mp3",48161367,4011,"2020-04-25T14:00:00Z",{"_47":451,"_32":452,"_34":453,"_30":454,"_62":63,"_64":455,"_66":456,"_68":457,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":232,"_13":14},"7765e607-6186-4bf0-9c2f-50d820229af2","26: They all live great lives and die of old age","26-they-all-live-great-lives-and-die-of-old-age","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/3404995-26-they-all-live-great-lives-and-die-of-old-age.mp3",36312851,3024,"2020-04-18T13:00:00Z",{"_47":459,"_32":460,"_34":461,"_30":462,"_62":63,"_64":463,"_66":464,"_68":465,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":241,"_13":14},"6a5359f2-b0bc-4d71-861e-7d557fe47187","25: Murder, cannibalism, and other hearty endorsements","25-murder-cannibalism-and-other-hearty-endorsements","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/3320692-25-murder-cannibalism-and-other-hearty-endorsements.mp3",55801243,4648,"2020-04-11T14:00:00Z",{"_47":467,"_32":468,"_34":469,"_30":470,"_62":63,"_64":471,"_66":472,"_68":473,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":102,"_13":14},"1797ab7e-fafd-4080-a314-ffa72a51dbbb","24: The call is coming from inside the horse","24-the-call-is-coming-from-inside-the-horse","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/3228502-24-the-call-is-coming-from-inside-the-horse.mp3",35781576,2980,"2020-04-04T13:00:00Z",{"_47":475,"_32":476,"_34":477,"_30":478,"_62":63,"_64":479,"_66":480,"_68":481,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":111,"_13":14},"fc713c78-c423-43be-9f63-3dbf86976285","23: The most punchable face in town","23-the-most-punchable-face-in-town","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/3150949-23-the-most-punchable-face-in-town.mp3",38503688,3207,"2020-03-28T14:00:00Z",{"_47":483,"_32":484,"_34":485,"_30":486,"_62":63,"_64":487,"_66":488,"_68":489,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":73,"_13":14},"5a675a86-57e5-46d4-8647-e7fc26e5c8c3","22: Double-dog arrested","22-double-dog-arrested","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/3072445-22-double-dog-arrested.mp3",40682614,3388,"2020-03-21T13:00:00Z",{"_47":491,"_32":492,"_34":493,"_30":494,"_62":63,"_64":495,"_66":496,"_68":497,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":101,"_13":14},"6743eabe-e3ce-4f90-9943-d620cd17b029","21: Use your empathy!","21-use-your-empathy","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/3005629-21-use-your-empathy.mp3",43382380,3666,"2020-03-14T14:00:00Z",{"_47":499,"_32":500,"_34":501,"_30":502,"_62":63,"_64":503,"_66":504,"_68":505,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":136,"_13":14},"3367e284-1d65-4e42-832a-258d2d6782d2","20: Ejaculation so explosive it's audible to the human ear","20-ejaculation-so-explosive-its-audible-to-the-human-ear","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2941009-20-ejaculation-so-explosive-it-s-audible-to-the-human-ear.mp3",50676018,4221,"2020-03-07T14:00:00Z",{"_47":507,"_32":508,"_34":509,"_30":510,"_62":63,"_64":511,"_66":512,"_68":513,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":75,"_13":14},"03881bfc-aea7-4096-8055-37a9be857ede","19: Justice is mindless and heartless","19-justice-is-mindless-and-heartless","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2866177-19-justice-is-mindless-and-heartless.mp3",47436370,3951,"2020-02-29T15:00:00Z",{"_47":515,"_32":516,"_34":517,"_30":518,"_62":63,"_64":519,"_66":520,"_68":521,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":84,"_13":14},"13a7b610-5ac4-4fda-9f43-3c99c07ba96a","18: Try to praise the mutilated world","18-try-to-praise-the-mutilated-world","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2808436-18-try-to-praise-the-mutilated-world.mp3",53500064,4456,"2020-02-22T14:00:00Z",{"_47":523,"_32":524,"_34":525,"_30":526,"_62":63,"_64":527,"_66":528,"_68":529,"_70":71,"_72":84,"_74":93,"_13":14},"b8c63fd2-f74a-4628-88b3-47e8a42ba571","17: Putting your friend in jail means they can't hang out anymore","17-putting-your-friend-in-jail-means-they-cant-hang-out-anymore","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2738980-17-putting-your-friend-in-jail-means-they-can-t-hang-out-anymore.mp3",42985362,3803,"2020-02-15T15:00:00Z",{"_47":531,"_32":532,"_34":533,"_30":534,"_62":63,"_64":535,"_66":536,"_68":537,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":178,"_13":14},"4579d6a6-6b0d-4e3a-b07d-cd69be7ddc9e","16: Fandom time travel!","16-fandom-time-travel","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2688193-16-fandom-time-travel.mp3",59107105,4924,"2020-02-08T14:00:00Z",{"_47":539,"_32":540,"_34":541,"_30":542,"_62":63,"_64":543,"_66":544,"_68":545,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":187,"_13":14},"29b5c138-b683-47b2-820d-12a0188f7973","15: I'm a bloodhound for the gay stuff: a conversation with armoredsuperheavy","15-im-a-bloodhound-for-the-gay-stuff-a-conversation-with-armoredsuperheavy","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2630449-15-i-m-a-bloodhound-for-the-gay-stuff-a-conversation-with-armoredsuperheavy.mp3",39033260,3251,"2020-02-01T14:00:00Z",{"_47":547,"_32":548,"_34":549,"_30":550,"_62":63,"_64":551,"_66":552,"_68":553,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":196,"_13":14},"fa1e2b35-dbda-4be1-891a-c2ae2ac451f3","14: What are you setting on fire?","14-what-are-you-setting-on-fire","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2569822-14-what-are-you-setting-on-fire.mp3",43070630,3587,"2020-01-25T15:00:00Z",{"_47":555,"_32":556,"_34":557,"_30":558,"_62":63,"_64":559,"_66":560,"_68":561,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":205,"_13":14},"35fda24c-5421-4ce4-a6a0-024f6d2d104d","13: You look pretty.","13-you-look-pretty","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2518666-13-you-look-pretty.mp3",46505935,3873,"2020-01-18T14:00:00Z",{"_47":563,"_32":564,"_34":565,"_30":566,"_62":63,"_64":567,"_66":568,"_68":569,"_70":71,"_13":14},"932fca83-5064-4596-9098-09a96474d9e9","12: The Medicine of Madness","12-the-medicine-of-madness","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2455616-12-the-medicine-of-madness.mp3",42088524,3505,"2020-01-11T15:00:00Z",{"_47":571,"_32":572,"_34":573,"_30":574,"_62":63,"_64":575,"_66":576,"_68":577,"_70":71,"_13":14},"02b9d8bb-23b8-4c3a-b98c-bc7a2847fba3","11: Can you taxidermy a fish?","11-can-you-taxidermy-a-fish","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2325293-11-can-you-taxidermy-a-fish.mp3",46309389,3857,"2019-12-21T12:00:00Z",{"_47":579,"_32":580,"_34":581,"_30":582,"_62":63,"_64":583,"_66":584,"_68":585,"_70":71,"_13":14},"1f91e3ab-ff36-41ac-8549-ea6d8591a557","10: Can you sue someone for murder?","10-can-you-sue-someone-for-murder","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2280251-10-can-you-sue-someone-for-murder.mp3",46111628,3841,"2019-12-14T15:00:00Z",{"_47":587,"_32":588,"_34":589,"_30":590,"_62":63,"_64":591,"_66":592,"_68":593,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":241,"_13":14},"00afbf32-7367-4b34-9bce-80dbf9d72e4b","9: The emergency warning system works!","9-the-emergency-warning-system-works","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2238356-9-the-emergency-warning-system-works.mp3",48404663,4032,"2019-12-07T15:00:00Z",{"_47":595,"_32":596,"_34":597,"_30":598,"_62":63,"_64":599,"_66":600,"_68":601,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":102,"_13":14},"c8c32ce0-0137-42b8-adbd-f8d1c1ca916a","8: Hannibal experiences Mozart requiem levels of psychic pain","8-hannibal-experiences-mozart-requiem-levels-of-psychic-pain","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2192483-8-hannibal-experiences-mozart-requiem-levels-of-psychic-pain.mp3",46183061,3847,"2019-11-30T15:00:00Z",{"_47":603,"_32":604,"_34":605,"_30":606,"_62":63,"_64":607,"_66":608,"_68":609,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":111,"_13":14},"46415d21-0928-427c-852d-5e8e9e71542a","7: Why didn't he eat the nail polish grapes?","7-why-didnt-he-eat-the-nail-polish-grapes","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2149031-7-why-didn-t-he-eat-the-nail-polish-grapes.mp3",52510183,4374,"2019-11-23T14:00:00Z",{"_47":611,"_32":612,"_34":613,"_30":614,"_62":63,"_64":615,"_66":616,"_68":617,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":73,"_13":14},"7ddda869-b335-4d4a-82cc-1238fd878865","6: Lithuanian sourdough, magical realism, and meditations on love and illness","6-lithuanian-sourdough-magical-realism-and-meditations-on-love-and-illness","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2084841-6-lithuanian-sourdough-magical-realism-and-meditations-on-love-and-illness.mp3",50253270,4186,"2019-11-16T15:00:00Z",{"_47":619,"_32":620,"_34":621,"_30":622,"_62":63,"_64":623,"_66":624,"_68":625,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":101,"_13":14},"46637996-761a-4c72-b26d-6be21a88b3b1","5: I'm sorry, and also I'm going to keep on doing it.","5-im-sorry-and-also-im-going-to-keep-on-doing-it","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/2026338-5-i-m-sorry-and-also-i-m-going-to-keep-on-doing-it.mp3",57373054,4779,"2019-11-09T06:00:00Z",{"_47":627,"_32":628,"_34":629,"_30":630,"_62":63,"_64":631,"_66":632,"_68":633,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":136,"_13":14},"25fcfc0f-ba81-4fc9-844d-9c81cc295b19","4: It doesn't matter if Benedict Cumberbatch thinks you're dumb!","4-it-doesnt-matter-if-benedict-cumberbatch-thinks-youre-dumb","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/1976833-4-it-doesn-t-matter-if-benedict-cumberbatch-thinks-you-re-dumb.mp3",60830236,5067,"2019-11-01T23:00:00Z",{"_47":635,"_32":636,"_34":637,"_30":638,"_62":63,"_64":639,"_66":640,"_68":641,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":75,"_13":14},"95932d40-4f4e-45a1-8e59-287a37344819","3: There's nothing to accomplish!","3-theres-nothing-to-accomplish","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/1940822-3-there-s-nothing-to-accomplish.mp3",43080689,3588,"2019-10-26T15:00:00Z",{"_47":643,"_32":644,"_34":645,"_30":646,"_62":63,"_64":647,"_66":648,"_68":649,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":84,"_13":14},"ccef7737-c594-4b75-9abb-ec84e3b68c3b","2: If you're drowning while somebody watches, is it better if they laugh or cry?","2-if-youre-drowning-while-somebody-watches-is-it-better-if-they-laugh-or-cry","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/1892726-2-if-you-re-drowning-while-somebody-watches-is-it-better-if-they-laugh-or-cry.mp3",45883280,5197,"2019-10-19T14:00:00Z",{"_47":651,"_32":652,"_34":653,"_30":654,"_62":63,"_64":655,"_66":656,"_68":657,"_70":71,"_72":93,"_74":93,"_13":14},"409cd0f1-38ac-4dc1-bbf3-7a75fbd5cb84","1: Value yourself as much as a serial killing cannibal!","1-value-yourself-as-much-as-a-serial-killing-cannibal","https://www.buzzsprout.com/656050/episodes/1837066-1-value-yourself-as-much-as-a-serial-killing-cannibal.mp3",50353239,4194,"2019-10-08T21:00:00Z","episodeFrequency","Fortnightly","estimatedNextEpisodeAt","2025-04-20T05:00:00Z","episodeCount",72,"hasSeasons","seasonCount","dataUpdateCount","dataUpdatedAt",1773729248625,"error","errorUpdateCount","errorUpdatedAt","fetchFailureCount","fetchFailureReason","fetchMeta","isInvalidated","status","success","fetchStatus","idle","queryKey",[682,683,14],"podcasts","detail","queryHash","[\"podcasts\",\"detail\",\"0e639be0-cc6f-0137-1e16-0acc26574db2\"]",{"_24":25,"_26":687,"_680":689,"_684":691},{"_28":688,"_666":93,"_667":25,"_669":-5,"_670":6,"_671":6,"_672":6,"_673":-5,"_674":-5,"_675":53,"_676":677,"_678":679},"

Tei and Bees discuss The Handmaiden, Grace Lavery's Please, Miss, Elif Batuman's everything, and That Lube Tweet. Strap in, it's going to be slippery.

",[690,683,16],"episodeShowNotes","[\"episodeShowNotes\",\"detail\",\"8d4a9f1a-c531-4db9-b44b-b9c87845f758\"]","actionData","errors"]

69: You're in a dry straight time, then you're in a wet gay time

Episode Description

Never lose your place, on any device