Have you ever felt torn between a part of you that wants to change and a part that absolutely doesn’t? Or felt “held hostage” by a critical inner voice telling you what you should be doing? In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with my dear friend and motivational interviewing trainer, Patrick Berthiaume, to explore ambivalence, discord, and how compassion can transform both our relationships and our inner lives.

Patrick is a French Canadian from Montreal with a background in sexology, who spent years working at the coalface of human suffering – alongside people experiencing homelessness, addictions, and involvement in sex work. Those years taught him about humility, vulnerability, dignity, and what it really means to offer a genuinely helpful, non-judgemental conversation.

Together we explore:

• Why people often expect to be judged and controlled when they ask for help
• The MI idea of discord in the client–clinician relationship, and how pushing for change can trigger resistance
• Ambivalence as a normal part of being human – and why the first ambivalence is often, “Do I even dare to talk about this?”
• How internal discord shows up as different “parts” arguing with each other – including the harsh, self-critical part that wants us to “do better”
• The role of empathy, autonomy support, humility and vulnerability in creating a safe space for real change
• How compassion helps us slow down, honour the intention behind even unhelpful behaviours, and soften the inner battles we fight with ourselves

Patrick also reflects on his own journey from a wide-eyed country boy arriving in Montreal, to walking side by side with people who are often stigmatised as “the worst of society”, and how those relationships became his greatest teachers of compassion.

If you’re interested in motivational interviewing, Compassion Focused Therapy, addictions, or simply understanding your own mixed feelings and self-criticism a little more kindly, I think you’ll find this a rich and very human conversation.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to Patrick Berthiaume

01:32 Patrick's Early Work and Lessons Learned

12:45 Understanding Ambivalence and Empathy

20:01 The Role of Vulnerability and Humility

33:42 Compassion in Practice

46:50 Internal Ambivalence and Self-Compassion

01:06:38 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Links:

Patrick Berthiaume's website:

https://perspectivehumaine.com/

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ 

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compassioninatshirt, motivationalinterviewing, compassionfocusedtherapy, ambivalence, selfcompassion, addictions