Episode Description
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Natalie Fabert to explore a question I often return to: What if a narcissistic family system operates like a cult?
When we hear the word cult, it can conjure images of something extreme, distant, or dramatic, something that happens to other people. But what if a cult simply describes a system. A system where one person’s reality becomes the only acceptable reality. Where it’s “my way or the highway.” Where you’re trained to question yourself, but never the person in charge.
We’ll talk about how these systems are upheld through conditional love, inconsistent rules, and roles that determine your worth based on how well you perform. While education often focuses on the narcissist’s behaviour, this conversation looks beyond the individual to the wider system that protects and maintains the dynamic.
Using real-life examples, we explore how the psychological dynamics of cults and narcissistic families can be strikingly similar.
Dr. Natalie Fabert joins us from the Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion, where she serves on the board of directors and oversees continuing education for clinicians. She is an associate teaching professor of psychology at Arizona State University and a licensed psychologist in private practice, specialising in work with survivors of cultic abuse, spiritual and religious abuse, and coercive control.
If you grew up in a family where love felt conditional and you became hyper-vigilant, constantly monitoring and managing your narcissistic parent’s moods. Where you learned not to trust your own mind, and self-doubt became second nature, where obedience felt like survival in a home that trained you to question yourself but never the person in charge! Then this episode offers a powerful new lens for understanding what you lived through, and why it was never your fault.
Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion
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