One of the most overlooked drivers of infidelity isn't desire, entitlement, or opportunity — it's broken self-trust.

In this episode of Ask The Unfaithful, James and Sam dive deep into lack of self-trust in the unfaithful partner and why it quietly shapes secrecy, defensiveness, avoidance, over-sharing, resentment, and relational instability long before betrayal ever occurs.

This episode is not about excusing infidelity. It's about explaining the internal dynamics that make betrayal more likely — and recovery harder — when the unfaithful partner cannot trust their own instincts, emotions, or values.

You'll learn how early attachment injuries, emotional invalidation, and chronic shame fracture self-trust, how that breakdown affects trustworthiness with others, and why rebuilding self-trust is a non-negotiable foundation for real relational repair.

In this episode, we cover:
✅ Why "when you don't trust yourself, no one around you feels safe"
✅ How broken self-trust leads to secrecy, defensiveness, control, and avoidance
✅ The difference between vulnerability and over-exposure
✅ Why unfaithful partners often fear vulnerability will be weaponized
✅ How mistrust activates the brain's survival system (neuropsychology explained)
✅ Why chaos can feel like intimacy and stability can feel threatening
✅ How lack of self-trust retraumatizes the betrayed partner
✅ The cycle of over-trust, withdrawal, and reenacted betrayal
✅ Why recovery is about credibility, not perfection

This is a powerful episode for:
• Unfaithful partners committed to real recovery
• Betrayed partners seeking deeper understanding
• Couples working toward relational repair
• Therapists and coaches supporting betrayal trauma recovery

PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT TO LET US KNOW HOW YOU EXPERIENCE A LAQCK OF SELF-TRUST AND HOW THAT HAS AFFECTED YOU AND YOUR RELATIONAL RECOVERY!

📬 Connect With Us:
Have a question or a topic you want us to address?
Email: AskTheUnfaithful@gmail.com
Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com
Work with James & Sharon: Info@HopeForUs.com
Work with Sam: SamsHealingPodcast@gmail.com

👉 If this episode resonates with you, please like, share, and subscribe for more conversations on betrayal trauma, affair recovery, and building trust again.

📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Betrayed (@AskTheBetrayed on YouTube)

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Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com

Contact us: AskTheUnfaithful@gmail.com

🔗 Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com
(Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or email Sam at SamsHealingPodcast@gmail.com

📬 Reach out: asktheunfaithful@gmail.com

🎧 Find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.

Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com

Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast

Follow James at LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157

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