Dr. Kiki Fehling (aka DBT Kiki) is back with the Bonnies to discuss dialectical behavior therapy, LGBTQ+ mental health, and how language shapes understanding and treatment. They discuss why DBT has been useful for many different concerns, including anxiety, emotional dysregulation, PTSD, substance use, eating disorders, and depression.

Kiki explains DBT’s main skill areas: emotion regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness. They all agree that DBT breaks complex problems into concrete, structured steps, and how that makes the skills easier to use in daily life and in therapy.

A major focus of the conversation is minority stress and its impact on LGBTQ+ people. They discuss discrimination, anticipated discrimination, and internalized stigma, as well as the importance of affirming language, representation, and feeling understood. Kiki goes on to clarify terms such as queer, cisgender, and related identity language.

The Bonnies ask about the development of Kiki's LGBTQ+ Mental Health Workbook and her work making evidence-based psychotherapy more accessible. Also discussed is how queer people can use DBT skills like opposite action, coping skills, and community connection to respond to shame, anxiety, and rejection sensitivity.

They close with a discussion of resilience, queer joy, intersectionality, and collective support. Dr. Fehling also mentions practical ways to find resources, including LGBTQ+ community centers, affirming therapists, and independent bookstores.

HIGHLIGHTS:

3:39 DBT Becomes More Accessible

5:33 What DBT Really Teaches

10:34 Why This Book Matters

12:47 Queer Language and Identity

17:46 Understanding Minority Stress

24:54 Bi Visibility and Stigma

29:53 Resilience and Queer Joy

32:59 DBT Skills for Queer Clients

37:16 Finding Safe Resources

connect with DBT Kiki

website: https://www.kikifehling.com

substack: https://howtoqueerjoy.substack.com

The LGBTQ+ Mental Health Workbook: https://www.kikifehling.com/lgbtqworkbook

resources mentioned:

CenterLink: https://www.lgbtqcenters.org

Bookshop: https://bookshop.org

CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS:

Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west)

website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com

Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf

Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ

Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east)

website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com

Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ

The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.