‘Don’t label her,’ they said.

Now she cries herself to sleep, wondering why she’s too much. 💔

That’s what happens when kids grow up different but unsupported.

The world never calls it ADHD — it calls it bossy, weird, difficult.

And children believe it.

In this Quick Reset, Jane McFadden unpacks the real cost of avoiding diagnosis. Parents often fear labels, but silence does more harm. Kids who don’t get language and support end up creating their own labels: dumb, lazy, unloveable.

💬 In This Episode:

• Why silence teaches children they’re the problem
• How kids self-label when their struggles go unseen
• The hidden pain of quiet, internalising ADHD kids
• Why early diagnosis isn’t limiting — it’s liberating
• How support changes outcomes for neurodivergent kids and families

💭 This episode is for you if:

– You’ve been told ‘don’t label your child’

– You worry a diagnosis will box them in

– You’re raising a quiet ADHD or autistic child who ‘never causes trouble’

References and Related Resources:

• ADHD Mums Facebook Group – Join here 
• Research on Identity Formation– Studies highlight how early diagnosis supports stronger self-identity in neurodivergent children
• Kristin Neff’s Research on Self-Compassion – Self-Compassion resources
• Research on Early Identification of ADHD – Evidence shows early identification improves long-term mental health and resilience

Related Episodes:

• S2E54 How to Talk to Your Child About ADHD – practical language and scripts for conversations

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Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

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COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at jane@adhdmums.com.au.

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

Topics covered: ADHD diagnosis stigma, internalising ADHD kids, ADHD self-esteem, ADHD parenting support, quiet ADHD, early intervention