His Son Died at 4:04. He Still Sets That Alarm | Stuart Preston

September 17
1h 38m

Episode Description

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Every Wednesday at 4:04 PM, a reminder goes off on Stuart Preston's phone. It says one word: Ian.

That's the minute he learned his son had died by suicide in 2015. People ask why he'd keep it. He says there's something absolutely pure and raw and real about that moment.

Stuart is a computer engineer who never used the degree, a former Army Patriot missile lieutenant, a stand-up comedian of thirteen years who says he hates doing stand-up, a sound meditation facilitator, and the son of a DEA agent who spent most of his life convinced that anyone who used drugs was a bad person. Six months after Ian died, he took magic mushrooms for the first time — because he wanted to dream about his son.

He didn't find Ian that night. He found something that reorganized him, and it eventually became The Stoned Ape Show, a one-man performance he's staged across the country including twice at Burning Man, and a book called The Grief Trip.

Today, through Cingularis, he helps small businesses and nonprofits build AI tools without, what he calls, soul drift — the slow slide where the technology quietly replaces the voice that made the work matter.

In this conversation:

- Why you heal WITH grief, not from it — and the "landmines" that never soften

- What a DEA agent's son learned researching psychedelics honestly

- The night he said "I lost my son to suicide" into a comedy microphone

- Policy keeps you safe. Ethos keeps your soul safe.

- Why he is actively, passionately against the concept of legacy

If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 — the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7 in the US.

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