FREE Masterclass “Beyond The Mind: The Science Of Plant Medicines”

📅 Date: August 11

🕒 Time: 18:00 CET / 9:00 PST / 12:00 EST

In last week’s episode, I explored the idea of survival patterns and asked a simple question:

Who are you when you’re no longer trying to survive?

As I reflected on that conversation, I realised there is another question that naturally follows.

Who are you beneath the Mask you’ve been wearing for so long?

Because surviving is only one part of the story.

The other part is the identity we create in order to survive.

I believe every one of us wears a mask. It is part of being human. It is how we learn to live in society, how we navigate relationships, and how we adapt to the world around us.

The problem is not that we wear masks.

The problem is that, over time, we begin to mistake them for who we really are.

Our authentic self slowly disappears beneath the personality we have carefully constructed to feel safe, accepted and loved.

Very early in life, we begin receiving messages about who we should be. Sometimes they are explicit.

A parent tells us we are too shy, too loud, too emotional or too sensitive.

A teacher tells us we are not trying hard enough. Children at school make fun of our appearance or the way we speak. Sometimes the messages are never spoken, yet they are deeply felt. We realise that expressing anger is not welcome. Crying is seen as weakness. Being different risks rejection.

As children, we don’t have the capacity to analyse these experiences. We simply adapt.

Looking back, it is remarkable how intelligent this adaptation is. At that age, our nervous system has one priority above all else: survival.

We need to feel safe. We need to belong. We need to be loved. If being ourselves threatens those fundamental needs, we naturally become someone else.

That is how the mask is born.

The mask isn’t fake. It isn’t manipulative. It is one of the most intelligent strategies our nervous system could create with the resources it had at the time.

The challenge comes later, when the strategy that once protected us continues running our lives long after the danger has disappeared.

This is something I observe often in leadership.

Many leaders believe they are simply expressing their personality, when in reality they are expressing a survival strategy.

The leader who always has to know the answer may be wearing the mask of the expert because knowledge once created safety.

The leader who avoids conflict at all costs may be wearing the mask of the nice person because harmony once protected them from rejection.

The entrepreneur who rejects every form of authority may be wearing the mask of the rebel because resistance once felt safer than trust.

The woman who insists she needs no one may be wearing the mask of independence because vulnerability once led to disappointment.

These masks often bring success. They help us build careers, companies and reputations. They help us belong to a particular tribe or professional culture.

But success does not necessarily mean authenticity.

Eventually, many people arrive at a point where they have followed every step they believed they were supposed to follow. They have built the company. They have earned the recognition. They have become financially independent.

And yet something still feels missing.

It is often because the mask achieved everything.

But the person beneath it was never invited into the room.

As I reflected on my own journey, I recognised several masks that shaped the way I moved through life.

One of the strongest was the rebel.

Growing up, I inherited a deep mistrust of authority. My father had lived through war, displacement and political oppression. Distrusting authority had once been a survival strategy. Without realising it, I adopted that same relationship to power.

As an adult, I questioned managers almost instinctively. I challenged institutions. I resisted teachers. Even healthy forms of authority felt threatening because my nervous system had learned that authority meant danger.

For a long time, I believed this made me free.

Only later did I realise I was still reacting to a reality that no longer existed.

The rebel had protected me.

But she was also limiting my capacity to collaborate, trust and grow.

Another mask I carried was over-independence.

For many years, I believed strength meant not needing anyone. If I could build my career, my company and my life on my own, then nobody could hurt me.

Looking back, I can see that independence wasn’t really the goal.

Protection was.

The deeper wound wasn’t about achievement.

It was about trust.

Healing that part of myself changed not only my personal relationships but also the way I see leadership today. When I first created women’s circles, there was an energy of protection. Women needed a place where they could reconnect with themselves in safety. I still believe deeply in those spaces.

But something has shifted in me.

Today, my vision is no longer about creating separation between men and women.

It is about facilitating enough healing that we no longer need separation in order to feel safe. The work is not to remain inside the mask forever. The work is to become whole enough that we can relate to one another without needing it.

That, for me, is the real invitation behind this episode.

Not to reject the masks we wear.

Not to judge them.

But to become aware of them.

Every mask once served a purpose.

Every mask protected something precious.

The question is simply whether it is still protecting you today, or whether it has become the very thing preventing you from living as your authentic self?

This is also why my work has evolved beyond conversation alone. Awareness is essential, but awareness is only the first step. These identities were not created through logic; they were created through experience. They live in the nervous system, in the body, in memories that often formed long before we had the words to describe them.

My personal journey has taken me into somatic work and, eventually, into the respectful exploration of sacred plant medicines. Not because they replace therapy or coaching, but because they sometimes allow us to reach the place where these identities were first created, making it possible not simply to understand them but to work at the root of the blockage.

As you finish reading, I invite you to pause for a moment.

What mask has served you for most of your life?

What part of yourself has it protected?

And if, deep down, you already knew you were safe... Who would you be without it?

Perhaps conscious leadership is not about becoming someone better.

Perhaps it is about having the courage to slowly remove the identities we no longer need, until the person leading is no longer the mask, but the human being beneath it.

FREE Masterclass “Beyond The Mind: The Science Of Plant Medicines”

📅 Date: August 11

🕒 Time: 18:00 CET / 9:00 PST / 12:00 EST

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